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Monday, 15 October 2012

Sexiest Bum.

Hey lovely people so how have you been? I know it's been awhile since I last wrote, about two months, in fact my last post was when some of you lovely lot had me shitting kittens and speed dialing Golden Delicious in panic that some of you knew who he was. Thankfully it was just someone of similar persuasions and perversions thus a different man altogether, apparently someone I know though...dark horse that one. So whilst on the subject of Golden Delicious I may as well get this bit over and done with. I have repeatedly said over the last year, that he's a habit I need to kick....5 weeks ago I quit smoking and two weeks ago I quit him. You see the thing that kept us hooked on each other, even to the point when we stopped even liking each other as people was down to our kinks, I told him mine every last one of them, from the ones I'm loud and proud about, to the one's I'm beyond embarrassed about and rarely tell people unless they mention them first, I think Valentine is the only other person that knows them all, total love that one didn't so much as bat an eye, that's friendship for you though hey :-). It is astonishing the levels we are willing to stoop too to indulge in our kink (because some people wouldn't get it) e.g conveniently forget that we think the other is a mahoosive douche bag all in the name of getting our rocks off. To be honest I do miss the day's when I didn't think of him like that, when he was just some funny charming guy that I knew and the mere thought pf referring to him as arrogant or selfish wouldn't have crossed my mind let alone be sprawled out in a scathing text and I'm sure he thinks the same of me. Perhaps not the same epithets but the same emotion behind them, fuck I know I ain't perfect and I sure as shit have a hot temper. Isn't it sad that you can't change how people see you, you know like how they did in the beginning before all that shit happened. So the book on him is finally closed and yes it makes me sad for the reasons I've just said...we don't even talk under the pretense of friendship anymore(finds it difficult to be friends with ladies) But onto something super awesome....I have completed my therapy. Yey!!!! I know its fast but my therapist thinks I've made excellent progress. I'm not 100% yet but I'm getting there...I'm going to start volunteering somewhere for a month or so...then ooosh a couple of months and I'll be back in Exeter which is my long term goal, there's lot's of small and medium ones to achieve the volunteering. I've even taken the bus, and managed Exeter on a busy Sunday afternoon yey go me!!! A quick update on my book, when I began laying the groundwork for it I thought it would be a good distraction, however, given the place I was at emotionally it wasn't conducive to moving forward and getting better, because I was having to go over times in my life where everything was peachy, so until I'm 100% better and back to normal I've put the project on hold. The last two weeks I have come on leaps and bounds, I've been to the beach a few times, enjoyed meandering for awhile by myself with the dog, baked some tasty cupcakes, survived doing my shopping in Asda for half an hour, and got back into doing my nails(some of you may have seen some of cool designs I've been painting on my nails) and most importantly...socializing with friends both here and in Exeter plus I even managed to go into Office and not panic or buy shoes...both are a massive's nice being able to do the things I used to do without a second thought, soon it'll be as easy as it used to be. So on to the man goss. Other than I spot of sexting with Golden Delicious a few weeks ago, it's all been pretty quiet and I've just been getting frisky(haha every time the Tinie Tempah songs pop in to my head) with and wearing out my is soooo annoying when you have to make a mad dash to the toy drawer when the charge of your beloved bullet vibe runs out mid orgasm. Thankfully though my rox-off bullet just about managed to get me to O a few times...just. But wanking aside. I do have a man interest. I'll call him The Sexiest Bum in Exeter, Sexiest bum for short, simply because when I added him on Facebook he was/is naked in his profile picture, I shit thee not ladies and gents I could not stop, you all know I am a bum girl...i have seen my fair share of delectable, biteable, kissable and sometimes fuckable asses. But Sexiest Bum is well corr, clichéd metaphor I know but it is peeeeeachy and just well all of the above(not the fuckable I don't think that's his thaang) It's like a pervy, porno postcard in my inbox when ever he messages me :D So how did we meet, well you all know I'm pro dating sites, you're not going to find someone datable on a night out on the lash. Slurry words, sloppy kissing and a stumbling grope on the dance floor do not a successful match make. A quick shag on the other hand sure. So as I was trawling through Plenty of Fish I came across some I recognized, I had a bit of a nose and liked what a read, but thought I'd only message him if he checked out my profile in return....and he did. Basically I used to see Sexiest bum walking past my work and would go and harass him into going into,Eden or Ex4 he never did so in the end I just used the premise of work as an excuse to go and talk to him. He's so hot, all gorgeous eyes, angular jaw, nice lips, cool ink, great taste in footwear, cons, black and white, classic cool, stands out in a crowd. He has the whole cute shy guy thing going on which I like...i did think I used to terrify him a bit because well you know I'm a bit like a brunette adult addition of Polly Pocket..on caffeine and Prozac and four packets of skittles..short loud bubbly. Thankfully I didn't terrify him he was just shy. Awwww. We chatted a fair bit on PoF and not gist the usual getting to know you stuff either of course that's important but I like finding out the random stuff about people, it's a good way to learn what makes a person tick. Like me asking him if he had a time machine and could hang out with 3 people from history, music, movies etc and go to any decade who would he pick and what would he ask them. I thought his choices were interesting. We also swapped the most embarrassing thing we ever did stories, his had me creasing, then because I thought my "I had a boob on collision with a telegraph pole" looked tame in comparison I thought to make it fair I'd spill a big secret...which then had him creasing. We've been chatting since. We have so much in common and as you lovely lot well know it's rare for me to have am interest in a guy for reasons other than the contents of his pants (unless of course they are male mates to which the latter does not apply) And last night we spent two hours watching American dad and family doing running commentary and quoting various lines that had us laughing. American dad epic "We have to get rid of the doll" but my personal fave "You couldn't open a french whores legs with a wheel of cheese" I love Roger hahaha. And yes dear readers your eyes do not beseech you, I did just write about a convo of the none sex variety with a sexy man. Don't get me wrong I've thought about doing some very rude naked stuff and I have told him as much. In fact he said four words to me the other day that nearly made me weep..." I don't like blowjobs" gutted...seriously it's one of the things I do's what I enjoy doing the most(after sex of course) if ever there was a poster woman for the orally fixated I am her! However after chatting about it yesterday I think the poor love has never had it done properly, a woman can be armed with the technique but unless she's really into it that blow job for want of a better word is going to suck. Blow jobs aside I can't wait to meet him in Newport in two weeks, all being well,you know providing we don't rum out of things to talk about, I know I'm catastrophizing and I shouldn't but now I'm thinking, what of we don't get along on person and only do so via message although to be fake it is far communicate via message than in person. And what if.we think the other is a bad kisser there is nothing worse than a lousy kiss it is a massive turn off, like I remember good kisses much the same way I remember good fucks. King Tart excellent in the sack not brilliant in the kissing department...too wet. Golden Delicious was a,brilliant kisser, soft yet firm enough to make my lips tingle, moist not wet and the perfect amount of tongue...just the tip. Ahhhh I love kissing. And I'm going to leave it there because Sexiest Bum is online and I'd like to chat to him because well he's lovely. Things I'm loving right now Leddra Chapman's music...check out Sexy Dizzy and Shiver on YouTube. How she's not a superstar yet I don't know her lyrics are beautiful. That I've done my therapy. That I went to Exeter a week ago to see some awesome, amazingly lovely people that I miss a lot and yes Caffé Nero I mean you too awww That there's a very sexy man that out there that I want to be holding hands with...yeah I said it...mushy Cupcake My best friends Miss Banana...i miss you <3