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Thursday, 28 June 2012

Craving Golden Delicious

Hey lovely people how are you all. This is just a quick post really, I will be posting my 50 shades of Grey review at some point this week. But I'm ensconced in the folds of the follow up book. I don't know if it's because of the light BDSM elements or the fact that I'm horny, but I'm craving Golden Delicious sooo bad right now. And yes I hate myself for it because we are no longer speaking(technically nothing to do with with having seen each other naked) But regardless ...it's 2am and I'm wanting him. I would do a lot to be able to slip into the memory of that night, to feel the heat in my scorching ass cheeks which were the same bright pink as my Paul's Boutique bag(Maisy and hate all you want lol I love it) the adrenaline whooshing through my veins to feel all of my nerve endings tingle with his touch. His kiss and and the scent of his skin as I kissed his neck,sweet mixed with his natural scent...it made me grind against his cock and want him in my mouth, his hands all over me but as is the way of kinky people me specifically....i wanted him to make me hurt too...hence my glowing ass and sore nips. That's what I want...a good solid spanking, be it sprawled over his lap or bent over his coffee table with my palms flat I need that release I need to feel that delicious heat emanating from my ass, a heat that's been put there by someone who makes my blood rush and the same person who knows how to make me hurt(ass and nips) so that I feel good. An orgasm would be good too right now. And having him grip my silky hair whilst he slides in and out of my mouth ummm and pull it when I disobey. I say craving him...because that's how I feel...addicted. And despite how pissed off I am with him right now, to the point my blood feels like its lava because of our falling out and believe it or not the fact that he couldn't look me in the eyes when we saw each other after our "kink fest" therefore making me feel like an unpaid hooker has nothing do with it although thinking about it now makes the red head in me flare up and want to bitch slap him with as much Celtic fury as I can muster, the word craving is appropriate because he's a habit I can't seem to quit(although I haven't messaged him for sometime and have no intention of doing so) See when you spend a year pretty much swapping dirty sext txts and pics etc and when you're getting frisky with the contents of your toy draw for some DIY and its them you think about it...it can be a real bitch of a habit to quit. I don't just think its that either I think it has a lot to do with his being kinky, that he is my ideal Dom in the respect that I wanted to submit to him but enjoyed it when I disobeyed and he pulled my hair hard or roughly pinned my hands behind my back. Also I he didn't come out right and say it but that night I kind of got an inkling he might be a switch due to him wanting me to squeeze his cock(my knuckles were white) regardless of my inch long nails digging in and the fact that when I was licking his balls I had the urge to rim him bit didn't. dare...however he did direct me down there and didn't come out right say specifically where he wanted my tongue needless to say when I licked him there he enjoyed it(i forgot to write that in that post) I would've really enjoyed Domming him too. I am now awash with self loathing because despite my craving for him in that respect I seriously wouldn't go there again...because I don't trust him anymore. And because of the fall out etc he see's me as a commodity, a toy and its apparent that the friendship I thought was there wasn't, it was a thin string to keep me on so that when he was bored, lonely, horny and no one else was available he tugged on it and there I would be. And after out.last messages he thinks I'm a c**t admittedly he's wrong but whilst I'm here thinking he's an ass I know that where ever he is right now, he's not giving me a second thought as he's probably found a new "toy" to play with. Its taken me weeks to write my final post with him in it...i kept putting it off because honestly I'm hurt...i can't believe I let that mother fucker make me cry...no more its time to kick the habit. And on that note I'll leave it there. Stay kinky Kinky Cupcake XOXO

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