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Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Kinky Cupcake turns spinster.

Hey lovely people So how have the last two months been? Well for me 2012 isn't going so great. So far the only good thing's to have come out of it is that I got to be a dancer well for an hour at least before I quit and threw my promo hoody back on haha, and of course a my friendships. However due to my Anxiety disorder progressively getting worse because I'm not taking medication for it, its successfully fucked up my life and my pending therapy seems a little too late.
I had to give up my job, a job that I was awesome at(there's not many strings to my bow but it's definitely one of them) and then on the Sunday just gone I had to give up.my nice home and my amazing and wonderful best friends, house mates and faces i've gotten to know just from living in Exeter, whether I met them through working at Eden/EX4 bar or or out and about in town. My first day in Exeter, I decided that I could be anyone who I wanted to be, I could just shrug of the old me like a snake shedding, actually it was technically my third day, my first day at the Exeter blue banana. Living there I finally became the person I wanted to be...i stopped be shy, I became confident and happy and after awhile despite a viscous flare up of my anxiety disorder and OCD I stopped having to fake being confident, it became a natural thing, and as I got happier and finally comfortable in my own skin for the first time in my life I stopped giving myself such a hard time about the floors and in turn I became less angry and my temper simmered down and I didn't loose it as ofter....i actually felt like I belonged....for the first time in my life. And now I'm sitting here in a room that feels like its full of old memories not many of them happy, looking at the new cream paint covering the rather large crack in the door which is a constant reminder of what an angry bitch I used to be, feeling just as lonely, pissed off and isolated as used to. And god the guy drama uggh. I mean fair do's my sex life wasn't always plain sailing in Exeter however....I got a load more of cock. Yes kinky Cupcake readers I am an acquired taste here in wales.. I'm going to leave it there before I bore you all to tears....i will say this though I'm shit scared the therapy isn't going to work and that I'm contemplating taking medication. I would say stay tuned my next post as it'll be all about my having hooked up and gotten all kinds of sweaty and fucking the arse of some hot bloke but well something tells me I'm not in Kansas anymore...and that I'm more.likely to see a tin man than an eligible cock. Yours truly going bat crap crazy Kinky Cupcake XOXO