Hey lovely people so how's your month been? And yes it really has been that long since I last posted, I know towards the end of my last post, I mentioned that I'd be seeing Handsome Harry one last time before he headed home to Cornwall. And see him I did, I haven't written about it not because it wasn't noteworthy, I assure you it was, trust me and I'll get to it in a sec, but because i've been a bit unenthused about things lately and constantly tired, stressed and add my SAD into the mix and it's apparent as to why. The night with Handsome Harry was awesome, kudos he's outstanding in bed. The night he came over was the same night the electrics in my house were having a melt down so without the aid of music to mask the moans of pleasure or the resonance of the slaps Harry was laying on my ass, 3 of my housemates and two of their friends heard everything, and just after Harry had finished fucking the hell out of me up against the door and over my desk(the only way that could've been better is if he'd been taking a ruler to my ass cheeks) one of my house mates called through to see if my tv was working yet. Haha. Alas poor Miss bananas' ears did not escape unscathed as a short while later whilst I was smoking my post orgasm cigarette out of the window and chatting to her(through the kitchen window below) Harry thought it'd be a great time to slide his fingers inside me stroking my G-spot a short while later poor Miss bananas' ears were assaulted with the dulcid sounds of orgasm number three haha sorry babe. So all in all my last night with Handsome Harry was an unforgettable one, that was a month ago, it's been a month since I last got laid...i've had offers but declined them as my mojo is sooo on the blink. Seriously give or take the occasional self induced orgasm my south pole has been a dry state. And no your eyes do not beseech you I Kinky Cupcake just said occasional and orgasm in the same sentence, me the woman who wanks at least once a day and would have sex everyday if I could. I'm blaming my SAD and current stress levels. God if only my mojo was like a tv...one quick slap on the ass and it's temporarily fixed. *at the time I wrote that it was true* I Can't believe I hadn't had a play for two weeks I mean me of all people(every day) and considering I had wankers strain(no jokes I thought I'd pulled my calf muscles) after breaking my dry spell needless to say I shan't be leaving it two weeks till my next one thanks to my libido returning full force I'm back to a minimum of 5 square orgasms a day. I'll give you a brief overview as to the causes of my stress you know me I never divulge too much of my everyday life crap. December was a pretty shitty month which thankfully is in the past admittedly only 18 days but still its a new year. The following ingredients that turned December into ''shit pie'' are as follows; SAD, my first anxiety attack in almost a year, repeatedly having them and passing out from them. See reflecting on all of that I released a very important thing. That I should've done my Cognitive behavioral therapy years ago because as a result of my illness I let it screw up a job that I loved and one that I was bloody well good at. So come 31st December I got busy making new years resolutions something which I hadn't done in years, simply because I never stick to them, we all do it. I made three and I'm pleased to say i've already stuck to one already well started the ball rolling. Here they are 1, To be more ruthless with my affections as some people clearly think they can walk all over me. 2, To do my CBT 3, my least fave out of the lot and most likely to induce vomiting...to have my wisdom tooth out. Which leads me swiftly onto the last 3 weeks. Due to parting ways with Simply pleasure, I was left with an additional lump of stress when it dawned on me that unless I found another job ASAP, that I might have no other option but to move back to wales and crash at my uncles, the thought of moving back to wales makes me die a bit inside not because my uncle isn't awesome (he so is) but because it would mean I'd failed here. Given that the current job market is horrendous it looked like returning to wales was imminent. So I asked my boss if I could audition to be a dancer, I saw it as a quick fix solution. Now ism not going to lie here I had my audition and I sucked, I had no issue with taking my clothes off it was the actual dancing bit, seriously people I can't dance for shit...turns out the only time I dance well is when I'm in a club on a night out and grinding up on some hot guy in a club that I'm planning on having my wicked way with when the night ends. Fair play though my boss did give me a second chance to audition after I practiced with one of the ladies, it was a bit better, so my boss agreed to let me dance for one night a week, my first shift being the following night. So on Friday afternoon I went and met up with a work colleague/friend to get some stuff to wear. When I got to work that night and was dressed in my gorgeous grey and black dress, Kurt Geigers and make-up perfectly applied for the first time in forever, I think I knew from the start of my shift that it wasn't for me, so 45 mins into my shift before there was even a customer I asked my boss if i could and promote instead. I know it seems like a got what I wanted then didn't want it anymore or that I failed but honestly its not the case. I tried it and it wasn't for me,everyone around me agrees that it took balls to even audition but someone I know, someone I like called me a failure, which stung more than it should because they don't know jack about me. So my job hunt continues, i've been handing out cvs left, right and centre and I have a job interview lined up for next week. I have also started my CBT well had my assessment at least and I must admit it was a very cathartic experience, spilling all my crazy into the ears of someone who totally understands and are there to help. I start my course in either February or april depending on how full they are.
Now to the man goss, there's not too much to tell, however I did swap digits on the weekend with a total hottie, but by the time his night out was done with I was well into the throws of an enlargement with Clit Tease, and my horn was rapidly dissipating, so as hot new guy was on his way home, Clit Tease and I were still bickering and is often the way with me, our enlargement took a turn for the filthy and a short while later I was saying things more along the lines of ''i want your cock in my mouth'' as opposed to ''you are a cock'' so instead of fucking the hell out of the new hottie I ended up sexting with Clit Tease. I swear he's like the human version of nicotine...has the ability to give us a rush, but is incredibly bad for us. I swear my common sense completely goes out of the window when it comes to him...ism so sick of walking around with a girl boner for him as half the time he pisses me off as he only seems to want to speak to me when it suits him.
On that note I shall leave it there lovely people.
Things I'm loving right now
I <3 Vegas by Lindsey Kelk...funny as
My new(ish) hair cut
Amos The Transparents' song After all that's come to this
Suits the new tv show on Dave
That I have an interview next week
Things I'm hating right now
That I can't leave the house without my head phones(its called distraction)
That I still lack common sense when it comes to Clit Tease
That I still haven't found a second job
The fact that for two nights in a row i've had rejection dreams uggh!
Stay tuned for next months post guys and dolls as it will be Single, Passion, Shoes and lubes 1st birthday
Can't believe its been almost a year since I started writing it...thank you all for reading it
Stay kinky, Kinky Cupcake XOXO