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Monday, 15 October 2012

Sexiest Bum.

Hey lovely people so how have you been? I know it's been awhile since I last wrote, about two months, in fact my last post was when some of you lovely lot had me shitting kittens and speed dialing Golden Delicious in panic that some of you knew who he was. Thankfully it was just someone of similar persuasions and perversions thus a different man altogether, apparently someone I know though...dark horse that one. So whilst on the subject of Golden Delicious I may as well get this bit over and done with. I have repeatedly said over the last year, that he's a habit I need to kick....5 weeks ago I quit smoking and two weeks ago I quit him. You see the thing that kept us hooked on each other, even to the point when we stopped even liking each other as people was down to our kinks, I told him mine every last one of them, from the ones I'm loud and proud about, to the one's I'm beyond embarrassed about and rarely tell people unless they mention them first, I think Valentine is the only other person that knows them all, total love that one didn't so much as bat an eye, that's friendship for you though hey :-). It is astonishing the levels we are willing to stoop too to indulge in our kink (because some people wouldn't get it) e.g conveniently forget that we think the other is a mahoosive douche bag all in the name of getting our rocks off. To be honest I do miss the day's when I didn't think of him like that, when he was just some funny charming guy that I knew and the mere thought pf referring to him as arrogant or selfish wouldn't have crossed my mind let alone be sprawled out in a scathing text and I'm sure he thinks the same of me. Perhaps not the same epithets but the same emotion behind them, fuck I know I ain't perfect and I sure as shit have a hot temper. Isn't it sad that you can't change how people see you, you know like how they did in the beginning before all that shit happened. So the book on him is finally closed and yes it makes me sad for the reasons I've just said...we don't even talk under the pretense of friendship anymore(finds it difficult to be friends with ladies) But onto something super awesome....I have completed my therapy. Yey!!!! I know its fast but my therapist thinks I've made excellent progress. I'm not 100% yet but I'm getting there...I'm going to start volunteering somewhere for a month or so...then ooosh a couple of months and I'll be back in Exeter which is my long term goal, there's lot's of small and medium ones to achieve the volunteering. I've even taken the bus, and managed Exeter on a busy Sunday afternoon yey go me!!! A quick update on my book, when I began laying the groundwork for it I thought it would be a good distraction, however, given the place I was at emotionally it wasn't conducive to moving forward and getting better, because I was having to go over times in my life where everything was peachy, so until I'm 100% better and back to normal I've put the project on hold. The last two weeks I have come on leaps and bounds, I've been to the beach a few times, enjoyed meandering for awhile by myself with the dog, baked some tasty cupcakes, survived doing my shopping in Asda for half an hour, and got back into doing my nails(some of you may have seen some of cool designs I've been painting on my nails) and most importantly...socializing with friends both here and in Exeter plus I even managed to go into Office and not panic or buy shoes...both are a massive's nice being able to do the things I used to do without a second thought, soon it'll be as easy as it used to be. So on to the man goss. Other than I spot of sexting with Golden Delicious a few weeks ago, it's all been pretty quiet and I've just been getting frisky(haha every time the Tinie Tempah songs pop in to my head) with and wearing out my is soooo annoying when you have to make a mad dash to the toy drawer when the charge of your beloved bullet vibe runs out mid orgasm. Thankfully though my rox-off bullet just about managed to get me to O a few times...just. But wanking aside. I do have a man interest. I'll call him The Sexiest Bum in Exeter, Sexiest bum for short, simply because when I added him on Facebook he was/is naked in his profile picture, I shit thee not ladies and gents I could not stop, you all know I am a bum girl...i have seen my fair share of delectable, biteable, kissable and sometimes fuckable asses. But Sexiest Bum is well corr, clichéd metaphor I know but it is peeeeeachy and just well all of the above(not the fuckable I don't think that's his thaang) It's like a pervy, porno postcard in my inbox when ever he messages me :D So how did we meet, well you all know I'm pro dating sites, you're not going to find someone datable on a night out on the lash. Slurry words, sloppy kissing and a stumbling grope on the dance floor do not a successful match make. A quick shag on the other hand sure. So as I was trawling through Plenty of Fish I came across some I recognized, I had a bit of a nose and liked what a read, but thought I'd only message him if he checked out my profile in return....and he did. Basically I used to see Sexiest bum walking past my work and would go and harass him into going into,Eden or Ex4 he never did so in the end I just used the premise of work as an excuse to go and talk to him. He's so hot, all gorgeous eyes, angular jaw, nice lips, cool ink, great taste in footwear, cons, black and white, classic cool, stands out in a crowd. He has the whole cute shy guy thing going on which I like...i did think I used to terrify him a bit because well you know I'm a bit like a brunette adult addition of Polly Pocket..on caffeine and Prozac and four packets of skittles..short loud bubbly. Thankfully I didn't terrify him he was just shy. Awwww. We chatted a fair bit on PoF and not gist the usual getting to know you stuff either of course that's important but I like finding out the random stuff about people, it's a good way to learn what makes a person tick. Like me asking him if he had a time machine and could hang out with 3 people from history, music, movies etc and go to any decade who would he pick and what would he ask them. I thought his choices were interesting. We also swapped the most embarrassing thing we ever did stories, his had me creasing, then because I thought my "I had a boob on collision with a telegraph pole" looked tame in comparison I thought to make it fair I'd spill a big secret...which then had him creasing. We've been chatting since. We have so much in common and as you lovely lot well know it's rare for me to have am interest in a guy for reasons other than the contents of his pants (unless of course they are male mates to which the latter does not apply) And last night we spent two hours watching American dad and family doing running commentary and quoting various lines that had us laughing. American dad epic "We have to get rid of the doll" but my personal fave "You couldn't open a french whores legs with a wheel of cheese" I love Roger hahaha. And yes dear readers your eyes do not beseech you, I did just write about a convo of the none sex variety with a sexy man. Don't get me wrong I've thought about doing some very rude naked stuff and I have told him as much. In fact he said four words to me the other day that nearly made me weep..." I don't like blowjobs" gutted...seriously it's one of the things I do's what I enjoy doing the most(after sex of course) if ever there was a poster woman for the orally fixated I am her! However after chatting about it yesterday I think the poor love has never had it done properly, a woman can be armed with the technique but unless she's really into it that blow job for want of a better word is going to suck. Blow jobs aside I can't wait to meet him in Newport in two weeks, all being well,you know providing we don't rum out of things to talk about, I know I'm catastrophizing and I shouldn't but now I'm thinking, what of we don't get along on person and only do so via message although to be fake it is far communicate via message than in person. And what if.we think the other is a bad kisser there is nothing worse than a lousy kiss it is a massive turn off, like I remember good kisses much the same way I remember good fucks. King Tart excellent in the sack not brilliant in the kissing department...too wet. Golden Delicious was a,brilliant kisser, soft yet firm enough to make my lips tingle, moist not wet and the perfect amount of tongue...just the tip. Ahhhh I love kissing. And I'm going to leave it there because Sexiest Bum is online and I'd like to chat to him because well he's lovely. Things I'm loving right now Leddra Chapman's music...check out Sexy Dizzy and Shiver on YouTube. How she's not a superstar yet I don't know her lyrics are beautiful. That I've done my therapy. That I went to Exeter a week ago to see some awesome, amazingly lovely people that I miss a lot and yes Caffé Nero I mean you too awww That there's a very sexy man that out there that I want to be holding hands with...yeah I said it...mushy Cupcake My best friends Miss Banana...i miss you <3

Monday, 6 August 2012

Caramelatte, Clamps and Clit

Hey lovely people, so how has your month been? Mine has been OK I guess. Very boring if I'm honest aside from baking occasionally, devouring books by the shelf full and wanking so much my toys are on the verge of protesting...seriously there's not much to do around here. However tomorrow I finally start my therapy for my anxiety disorder. I'm happy that its finally here, albeit shitting myself because I'm scared that it won't work. I just need to keep a positive attitude about it, I read somewhere that if you keep positive and envisage yourself being who or where you want to be(e.g a new job, or on the end of that hot guys cock etc) that you are more likely to achieve it than if you have a negative attitude. Plus I'm so frustrated at not being able to do normal things like catch a train, go in to town with my besties for a coffee its been three months since I've wrapped my mouth around the caffeiney goodness of a Caramelatte and that folks is a long time for a Nero addict who is on first name terms with the baristas in Exeter. I really miss working though and can't wait to start again! I do have one last tidbit to tell you about before I get to the man goss. A family friend is getting married and asked me to do he wedding cupcakes! Which in my opinion is a pretty big deal.So in order to not completely bollocks them up I've spent the last two weeks or so designing, practicing and perfecting my techniques...getting the icing the perfect consistency to pipe though is a total biatch however I've worked it out now and fingers crossed they should look awesome. OK before I spill the juice on the guy that's been getting my knickers all juicy, I would just like to point out that just because I don't write about it doesn't mean I'm not getting up to black book is like an a-z. So from the post before my Fifty Shades of Grey review, I clearly say that Golden Delicious is a habit I need to kick and for the most part I was sticking to it with the exception of a platonic text I'd sent him a question that none of my friends would know the answer too. It was brief but we were civil and that was that then a week ago I wasn't lounging around and checking my Facebook when he messaged me. The second I saw his message in my inbox my pulse started swooshing around like it normally does when he's involved. A few minutes later he was asking me what I would've done if we'd hooked up again. The second I read it my eyebrow shot halfway up my forehead and my lips bunched up so tight they probably looked like a cats arse and I had to refrain from typing the text of equivalent of a snort of derision if my ass I was the one who wanted to hook-up again remember, you know, I sent that lovely picture of my naked-but-still-bruised-from-that-spanking-you-gave-me ass, telling you to come and put your cock in me. But still I refrained and decided to let it go. And told him that I'd have done everything we didn't get chance to do that night...there's only so much kink you can fit into a few hours. No jokes aside from a couple of hours baking I was in a constant state of hornyness, and attached to my phone and various sex toys all day and night, and had to change my pants twice because they were that wet, all from his dirty texts, him sending me a picture of his big fat cock and yes ladies and gents he has a very fat cock, me then telling him where I wanted it, our brief discussion about shibari....moments later I was busy tying my boobs up with pink string and taking a photo for him, then him saying he wanted to rub stinging nettles over my boobs and pussy got me even more slick, I don't think I could handle it on my pussy, my boobs yes but only if he was the one doing it because his cock in either my mouth or pussy is likely take my mind off the pain if it was too much and if I did it to myself all I'd have to hand would be my dildo and I highly doubt sucking that would have much of an effect lol. Towards the end of the night I did another video. And I mentioned that I'd really like clamps on my pussy....again moments later I was rifling through my box then taking a pic I wish he'd been the one to put them on me. We also spoke about wax play, it's something I really want to try. The next morning after breakfast I was thinking about our conversation from the day before and as I was in the throws of orgasm I called his name (no one else was in thank frick lol) not his actual name the name he'd confessed to like being was hot! A few days later I decided to tell him about a kink that I hadn't told him about. He's open about his and whilst he has two that are a bit extreme for me I don't judge, it's his thing right. I never thought I'd tell him, in part due to pride as it's not a kink I'm loud and proud about, truth be told I'm utterly ashamed and embarrassed of it, but also due to a fear of being rejected by him because of it(it's happened before when I've told people and well ouch) the amount of times over the last year I've come so close to blurting it out over text and just about managed to refrain due to the fear of the above. So being that I'm now in Wales and no longer run the risk of bumping into him and trying to meet his gaze whilst blushing with awkwardness and shame I thought fuck it. Admittedly my stomach was in knots and I nearly wussed out of telling him because of said embarrassment but with a bit of prompting from him to spill I just blurted out. I was flooded with relief when I read his response "So whats wrong with that" I know it sounds dumb but I could've cried because it's so not normally the response I get and well pfftt hormones and all that. However during the week I text him twice and I didn't hear back from him so I started to worry that maybe initially he'd misread the text you know skimmed over the first part then reread it later only to be like freeeaak. Turns out I was just stressing over nothing because he's cool with it. I need to leave well alone though now, because we keep doing this and I'll always want more from him but I'll never be enough for him and I don't mean that in the lame 0% self esteem kind of way but in the respect of different strokes for different folks. Maybe I want a guy who likes all of me and not just fragments and yes ladies and gents you did just read that right for the first time in three years I actually want more from a guy than he wants from me although that's been obvious from when he first appeared in my blog although I did think if I had him for the night that'd be enough and that the thing that usually happens after I hook up with a guy would happen, you know I don't want them anymore, but I guess my pussy turned into a greedy Golden Delicious wanting slut. And on that note I'll leave it there. Stay kinky Kinky Cupcake XOXO

Friday, 6 July 2012

Fifty Shades of Grey review

Hey lovely people so how's your week been? So I wrote my review of 50 Shades of Grey. And sent it off to the rumpus unfortunately my submission was declined so I'm posting it here as promised for you lovely ladies and gents to read. A review by a real female submissive I am about to utter the four words that are causing a stir amongst us ladies worldwide; '50 Shades of Grey' also seen popping up in status's across Facebook and the like as 'The book', it is the reason we're all getting our panties in a bunch and why we're trying to find 5 minutes of peace and quiet. Admittedly I'm not one for jumping on the media hype band wagon, I'm usually the type to wait for the hype to die down and then if I'm curious I'll check it out. But one whiff off BDSM and I'm there I can't help it I'm a slave to my clitoris. So despite my doubts about whether or not it would turn out to be a Story of O rip-off I downloaded a copy to my kindle and got stuck straight in. The leading lady Miss Anastasia Steele and trust me ladies and gents you'll get to know her surname too on account of it being said a lot throughout, is on the cusp of graduating college(uni for us Brits) She is also a virgin, when she meets the enigmatic CEO Christian Grey. So far so cliché, right. Despite finding the story line wishy washy and the dialogue repetitive E.L James knows how to write a good sex scene to the point where I quickly devoured it and wanted more deeming 50 shades juice-inducingly delicious. As a spankster I found myself getting incredibly turned on when Mr Grey takes the inexperienced Ana across his knee for the first time. And don't get me started on the scene with the riding crop, oooh yes please I want some, although to be fair I would've preferred the belt whipping myself those of you who read my blog will know exactly what I'm referring too. However despite her extensive vocabulary which occasionally had me reaching for a dictionary, and her passion for the character's she created, it's not well written. I could pick holes in it all day but she's obviously doing something right as not only has the trilogy sold over 20million copies there is also a movie in the pipeline too. I think overall its very melodramatic too much drama. Ana referring to Grey's play room as "The red room of pain" and professing that she is not a submissive when she evidently is, I'm sorry E.L James but as a kinkster and someone who has been playing for nearly 12 years I have never met someone that likes to be spanked and tied up and claims they are not submissive. I also thought the belt whipping scene was melodramatic. Safe words are an integral part of safe, sane BDSM play for a reason, it prevents situations like Ana enduring 6 hard lashes from a belt, wanting to stop but not saying anything then promptly storming out crying afterwards. I think someone that is new to BDSM will probably have a negative view on it due to careless writing. My other beef with it is this Grey isn't just domineering in the bedroom but tells Ana when and what to eat he even buys her clothes so that when she is with him she'll be dressed to his approval, the latter is all well and good in the bedroom during a scene, but outside of it, I'd personally tell Grey to take a hike back to his cave. I say if you're a bit horny, the sex scenes make it worth a read. However if you are a fellow kinkster like me I'd recommend picking up a copy of My Girlfriend Comes to the City and Beats Me Up by Stephen Elliott or Kings Pawn by Ruth Fox two of my personal favorites. Kinky Cupcake XOXO

Thursday, 28 June 2012

Craving Golden Delicious

Hey lovely people how are you all. This is just a quick post really, I will be posting my 50 shades of Grey review at some point this week. But I'm ensconced in the folds of the follow up book. I don't know if it's because of the light BDSM elements or the fact that I'm horny, but I'm craving Golden Delicious sooo bad right now. And yes I hate myself for it because we are no longer speaking(technically nothing to do with with having seen each other naked) But regardless's 2am and I'm wanting him. I would do a lot to be able to slip into the memory of that night, to feel the heat in my scorching ass cheeks which were the same bright pink as my Paul's Boutique bag(Maisy and hate all you want lol I love it) the adrenaline whooshing through my veins to feel all of my nerve endings tingle with his touch. His kiss and and the scent of his skin as I kissed his neck,sweet mixed with his natural made me grind against his cock and want him in my mouth, his hands all over me but as is the way of kinky people me specifically....i wanted him to make me hurt too...hence my glowing ass and sore nips. That's what I want...a good solid spanking, be it sprawled over his lap or bent over his coffee table with my palms flat I need that release I need to feel that delicious heat emanating from my ass, a heat that's been put there by someone who makes my blood rush and the same person who knows how to make me hurt(ass and nips) so that I feel good. An orgasm would be good too right now. And having him grip my silky hair whilst he slides in and out of my mouth ummm and pull it when I disobey. I say craving him...because that's how I feel...addicted. And despite how pissed off I am with him right now, to the point my blood feels like its lava because of our falling out and believe it or not the fact that he couldn't look me in the eyes when we saw each other after our "kink fest" therefore making me feel like an unpaid hooker has nothing do with it although thinking about it now makes the red head in me flare up and want to bitch slap him with as much Celtic fury as I can muster, the word craving is appropriate because he's a habit I can't seem to quit(although I haven't messaged him for sometime and have no intention of doing so) See when you spend a year pretty much swapping dirty sext txts and pics etc and when you're getting frisky with the contents of your toy draw for some DIY and its them you think about can be a real bitch of a habit to quit. I don't just think its that either I think it has a lot to do with his being kinky, that he is my ideal Dom in the respect that I wanted to submit to him but enjoyed it when I disobeyed and he pulled my hair hard or roughly pinned my hands behind my back. Also I he didn't come out right and say it but that night I kind of got an inkling he might be a switch due to him wanting me to squeeze his cock(my knuckles were white) regardless of my inch long nails digging in and the fact that when I was licking his balls I had the urge to rim him bit didn't. dare...however he did direct me down there and didn't come out right say specifically where he wanted my tongue needless to say when I licked him there he enjoyed it(i forgot to write that in that post) I would've really enjoyed Domming him too. I am now awash with self loathing because despite my craving for him in that respect I seriously wouldn't go there again...because I don't trust him anymore. And because of the fall out etc he see's me as a commodity, a toy and its apparent that the friendship I thought was there wasn't, it was a thin string to keep me on so that when he was bored, lonely, horny and no one else was available he tugged on it and there I would be. And after out.last messages he thinks I'm a c**t admittedly he's wrong but whilst I'm here thinking he's an ass I know that where ever he is right now, he's not giving me a second thought as he's probably found a new "toy" to play with. Its taken me weeks to write my final post with him in it...i kept putting it off because honestly I'm hurt...i can't believe I let that mother fucker make me more its time to kick the habit. And on that note I'll leave it there. Stay kinky Kinky Cupcake XOXO

Wednesday, 30 May 2012

Rocking upto Wales with a swagger

Hey lovely people so how's your week been? So once again things have gone a bit tits up. As some of you know from my last post I was moving back to Wales...unfortunately it was not by choice, predominantly due to finances and my anxiety disorder rearing it's ugly head again, but I'm not going to lie the thought of never having to see Golden delicious again was actually a plus. I'm not going to give him a verbal bashing here as I've already said everything I needed too, I'm done with his selfish ass, ooh and if you are reading this you're a fake so shave your mo you're about as punk as My little pony. So Friday was my last night in Exeter(or so I thought at the time) and I spent the evening with Miss Banana eating dinner in the garden and chatting. After she left and we'd said our goodbyes, I went back outside to watch the sunset and the neighborhood bat taking its twilight flight, I do love balmy summer evenings...simple.pleasures and all that. Afterwards I did boring crap like all of my packing, come 1:30am I was lounging around on my bed in bra and pants, feeling lonely and despondent and trying not to cry over that knob head(golden delicious) when I decided that I didn't want to spend my last night moping around, so on the off chance I messaged an acquaintance of mine, who is no stranger to coming round to mine at silly o'clock in the morning. Admittedly it had happened only once before lol and it was well over a year ago and we just kissed but no harm in trying right. I'm going to call him Fucking Memorable simply because we fucked and my last night in Exeter was very memorable in a good way. OK ladies and gents, he is smoking hot, aesthetically he's the kind of guy your mother probably would've warned you about, you know heavily tattooed, nose piercing. However personality wise he is a gent and has nice manners which as you know I am a stickler for, although where mine went when I said "so are you going to kiss me or what" is beyond me but I'll get to that in a second. So yes he's tall, tattooed(heavily so) has gorgeous blue eyes, full lips and the kind of hands that...sorry folks I zoned out for a second there thinking about him in nothing but an oil streaked beater, and touching me all over with those sexy oil stained man hands of his. Phhhhew cold shower for cupcake please. Our hook up didn't start out brilliantly, as I'd locked myself out of my suitcase (which he found funny and it was you should've seen me straddling the thing trying to prize it open lol) and all of my sexy knickers were packed inside it. Then when he arrived I had to streak downstairs to let him in in nothing but my bra and granny huh, before leaving him standing in my pitch black hallway whilst I ran up the stairs to chuck on the only thing that wasn't being held hostage by my sodding suitcase and attempting to make myself look less "wanton hussy" and erm a bit more lady like haha, you know given that I wasn't certain that we were going to get naked(i knew I was up for it but call me naive I wasn't sure was) So coffee in our hands we went and sat in the garden and yes I know it sounds awfully romantic but that's sooo not why I suggested it, it's simply because it was still warm out and I love star gazing hence the two constellations I have tattooed on my arm. We slipped into easy conversation, I remember telling him why I was leaving, I also remember saying that maybe I needed a new city, you know a change, I meant it at the time but I think I really meant more so than anything was that I needed to change and get my act together, because I actually really love Exeter and felt like I belonged there. Anyway when it got cold we went up to my room and after jokingly chastising him for pikeying my only pillow(than you Miss Banana for introducing that awful word to my vocabulary) I laid down next to him and tested the water by rubbing my leg up against his, then he propped up and looked down at me, all I could think was kiss me...then my manners went out of the window and j said "are you going to kiss me or what" and then he He is an excellent kisser, passionate yet gentle and just the right amount of tongue none of that sloppy wet malarkey. I remember I was quite bossy/Dom as in get naked, more naked and squeezing his nips and biting them. Needless to say I wasn't so Dom when it came to getting it on he knew exactly what to do. It was hot as hell, I liked sucking his cock and having his fingers all tangled up in my hair, I liked the noises he made sexy and the way his skin tasted when I kissed his chest and licked his nips, and I definitely liked it when he made me come and then did so shortly afterwards himself...such a gent ladies first and all that. Which ever position we did it in it felt fanfuckingtastic(my legs on his winner g-spot all the way to orgasmville) afterwards I smoked a post sex cigarette, cliché I know. Exhausted I flopped back down onto the bed and he followed suit, resting his head on my arm and kissing me, I dropped my free arm over his and lazily stroked his, reveling in post orgasm rush. It's been a real long time since I've done that, hugging after sex I mean but I thought fuck it I'd never see him again as I was wales bound the next day and he felt good. I did suggest a shower because my hair was a sweaty mess and I highly suspected that I smelled like a rugby players jock strap, in response to my suggestion he kissed me and asked if I could manage round two, honestly I really didn't think I could...the mattress wasn't the only thing ruined lol, but I was horny, flipping Nora he's got stamina. I sat on his cock(condoms were used of course, you know my rule folks) and rode him, then he picked me and fucked me.standing up my legs wrapped around his waist riding him and then back down on the bed, fucking me doggy and pulling my hair and slapping my ass, god that was hot I was dripping. Orgasms are great aren't they. We went to bed after that, although I kept having to get up for lol due to all the water I drunk soz I'm a pain in the ass to share a bed with lol. I don't know what time it was, but I remember being half asleep and curling into him the next morning and him kissing me, it is a nice way to be woken up, then he left and I promptly passed out for a few more hours. I was walking like John Wayne for two days after lol and I most definitely rocked up into Wales with a swagger. I was supposed to be heading back there then but got picked up on Sunday instead and spent Saturday evening with Miss Banana spilling about the night before and eating chocolate cake. Now I'm in wales and well I'm miserable as all of my.close friends have moved on and now not only am miserable, I'm also bored, lonely and jobless and if it wasn't for my two besties a text or Skype away I'd have cracked you both so much! And on that note lovely ladies and gents I shall leave it there...on a relatively high note...don't think I'll be posting again for awhile. /> Stay kinky Kinky Cupcake XOXO

Sunday, 20 May 2012

"You're getting it in my mouth"

Hey lovely people so how's your week been? Mines not been great, but I'll spare you the details, well most of them. Instead I'm going to cut to the chase and get stuck right into this weeks piece. You know when you want something so bad but you accept that you're not going to get it, then out of the blue it looks like it's going to happen. I don't know about you but with me I always get a niggling doubt in my head, you know, like what if its not as good as I'd thought it'd be, what if it's like taking a big mouthful of lemonade to quench your thirst only to then see a bug floating in it. I'm pleased to say this was not the case, because sometimes, getting who or what we want is more delicious than we anticipated and doesn't just exceed our expectations but completely obliterates them. I'm talking about finally hooking up with the kinkiest man I know, the guy that makes my blood rush, the same guy that has been mentioned in my last two posts and one before(I'm not saying which) Now I know I promised him no nick names, that would give him away...he likes to be hidden as I said in my prior post. But I thought I'd make one up specifically for this post-Golden delicious(because he's into giving golden showers and duh he's delicious) One night this week I was on a bit of a hormone induced downer and spent a bit of time examining my life closely and you know where I was at. Then I turned to my sex life and delved into a few old blog posts including the last one that Golden delicious appeared in, I then did the one thing that I should never do when my body has turned into the hormone circus...i messaged him about it. I asked in reference to my last post, whether that was how he really saw me, you know easy, he said no and then the conversation quickly progressed to him inviting me over(after I'd told him I'd had a play earlier and thought about him kissing my birth mark and then bending me over and taking his belt to my ass) So after scribbling down his address, booking a taxi whilst I quickly got dressed, all I could think about is"holy fuck this is actually going to happen" After months of dirty texts,flirting and dirty pics and talking about all the things we wanted to do to each other it was going to happen for real and as I sat in the taxi heading to his place, I was nervous as hell. As I said earlier he makes my blood rush and I was shaking a bit too in a good way though. So after I arrived, it was only after I followed him through to the lounge that I felt awkward and shy. So after a cigarette and rubbing his rock hard cock with my foot all the while hoping he couldn't feel my legs shaking, I thought 'fuck it' and swung my leg over so I was sitting astride him. Ummm finally with in touching distance, close enough to I did and it was well worth the wait, I felt my pussy twitch and my nips turn to bullets, he is an excellent kisser. Soon I was stripping down to nothing but my La Senza and he was busy relieving me of my bra, and kissing and licking my nipples. But the second he took each one between his thumb and forefingers and I asked him to squeeze harder adding please of course, I knew that the next few hours were going to be just like we'd spoken about, he squeezed and slapped and twisted my nips and pinned my hands behind my back at one point which was so hot and when I lent in to kiss him and held me back just a fraction away from his lips teasing me then saying "my house my rules" when I told him to kiss me already that line was said a hell of a lot throughout the evening. Including when he told me he was going to film me pffft...then he flipped me over, half over his lap and the couch.... The first slap is always the most divine one out of the lot. As P.Jones says in his book adventures of a London spank daddy, its not just about the pain, its about the humiliation . The shame of being a grown woman having her pants pulled down and being bent over someones knee to be punished like a bad girl, and the second Golden delicious laid the first slap down on my ass cheek, I knew I was going to be on the receiving end of someone who actually knew what they were was hot as fuck! My ass cheeks were glowing and by the end of it I was rubbing my ass cheeks furiously and swearing like a sailor. I remember him at some point making a quip about the hand print Handsome Statham had left on my ass....hand prints are not cool as it means a cold spank...i like bruised ass cheeks(they are still, yellow, purple black and blue). Shortly after receiving my first spanking he got naked...hooorah! Ummmm fantastic set of legs, and his cock fucking hell its a damn sight wider than the pics would've suggest. I've been fantasizing about sucking his cock for almost a year, whether its with my hands behind my back and on my knees or the way I sucked it that night, knelt between his legs, one hand wrapped around his shaft and looking up at him as I licked the end with my tongue with his hands firmly tangled in my hair. I also liked that he was vocal e.g made the kind of noises that say fuck that feels good. The only thing that did irritate me was that he kept whipping his phone out to film stuff, so to prove a point I refused point blank to tell him how much I loved sucking his cock until he put it away, then promptly told him before taking his cock deep in my mouth to underline my point. Looking back at the night and deciding which bits to write about it was a pretty fun night and in between bouts of debauchery I remember laughing a lot. My favourite part of the night was when we went to the bathroom and no you cheeky sod my watch isn't showerproof. We were stood in his bath, I remember stroking his chest and licking his nips and him pissing on my feet. Phone of course in his hand, he kept telling me to get on my knees and I was steadfastly refusing until he'd put the camera away so anyway he eventually does and I drop to my knees and told him not to piss in my mouth. So he starts pissing all over me its hot as fuck, then he gets it in my.mouth. We're laughing, ism trying to find a piss free patch of skin to wipe my mouth on, he's laughing harder so its spurting out everywhere, then he tries blaming it on me because apparently I was moving everywhere....duh because I knew you'd try and get it in my mouth you fucker. It was horny as fuck but hell. I'm just going to give a brief overview of the rest as a lot of hot stuff happened that night. Like for example having a cigarette whilst he stroked my clit. And when I was kind of.sitting in between his legs and he was kissing and blowing lightly on my birthmark(under my hair line if anyone is interested) and stroking my.clit until I came. And when I was wanking him off and licking his nips, him repeatedly calling me a good girl...that got my pussy twitching too. He is a pretty hardcore Dom, no messing around. Because when he said he could fit the whole in one of his hands to demonstrate he made me bend over his coffee table and gave me a spanking and when I so much as lifted a finger off the table to rub my scorching ass he told me I'd better not...then he slapped my pussy I swear to god by the end of it all everything hurt including the.sole of my left foot. We did attempt to fuck but he had an issue with the condom and well I sure as hell wasn't going to fuck him bareback, he did make me come though with his intense that I had to get him to take them out straight after. Also seeing his face when he came.... sexy as hell. The next morning when I woke up(in my own bed of course) i.did ask myself if it'd actually finally happened, then rolled over on to my back and felt my arse and arse was still sore 3 days afterwards it is still bruised and my nips were so painful that I didn't wear a bra for.over 24 hours afterwards. I guess this will probably be my last post in Exeter as I'm off back to wales again in a couple of weeks. Maybe I'll hook up with some hottie between now and then but I'm not really bothered, because if Golden delicious is the last guy I hooked up with for awhile I'm glad it was him, because now I know what it feels like to kiss the guy that makes my blood rush. Stay kinky Kinky Cupcake XOXO

Sunday, 13 May 2012

Kinky is as kinky does...

Hey lovely people so hows your week been? Well I'm certainly glad last week is over and done with. As some of you maybe aware things were a bit heated around here. And I am now pleased to say that the noise war of 2012 is finally over and that calm and tranquility has once again returned. Also I found out who.was responsible for writing that literary masterpiece of insults and it actually wasn't the guy who I'd been arguing with, it was actually two of the other housemates not involved in the argument, two people that thought stirring up a shit storm would be conducive to achieving a peaceful house. I promised Miss banana that I wouldn't have a crack that culprits for the sake of peace. However being that they both apparently think its acceptable to bitch about.someone online behind their backs and via my blog no less I figured I'd write about it instead. Also considering they think so little of my blog and me they sure do spend a lot of time reading it. So here's what I think about their appalling behaviour.....nothing. Your shocking abuse of the English language however is something I do care about because if you insist on insulting me at least use the correct words suited to the context e.g slag and whore. Dictionary definition of Slag- The vitreous mass left as a residue by smelting of metallic ore also called cinder....last I checked I'm a human. 2. A mass of of rough fragments of pyroclastic rock and cinders derived from a volcanic eruption. Whore- A prostitute(i haven't once taken money for sex you swine!) 2. Someone considered sexually promiscuous....hardly an insult boys when I don't make any bones about being so. Dictionary definition of not giving a fuck(as in not giving a fuck about what you think) meaning to not care about something or a certain situation. Admittedly when I first read the comment left by those two I went ballistic, not because they had called me a slag or a whore but due to them saying I needed my head tested for liking kinky sex. I can't believe I let one comment make me feel even remotely bad for liking what I like that soon after reading it I texted the kinkiest man I know(the guy that appeared in my last post) but not for a dirty sext fest but because as much as I hate to admit it I was upset. It wasn't a case of needing a knight in shining armour to make me feel better because(a) I'm a big girl and can handle my shit and (b) he is just not that guy. I just needed some friendly advice on how to get them to stop harassing me at home and online. For a split second I even considered doing CBT to get rid of my kinks, however it didn't work for Marquis de Sade and it sure as shit wouldn't work for me...simply because I like my fucking kinks thank you very much you closed minded bigots I'd rather have some hot guy piss all over me, take a cane to my ass and put clamps on my nips than have boring missionary position judge all you want. There is a bit more I'd like to say about the guy that appeared in my last post. After a quick catch up. He told me that I should stop comparing other men to him. I simply retorted that I didn't compare other men to him and that I merely have an acquired taste and know what I like. Him being super cocky and all thought I'd said good taste...haha more like bad taste. I then pointed out how arrogance was such a turn off. Then the next thing he said, which made me do the whole pfffft bloody cheek was this and I quote " if I turned round and said lets go do all those things I said I'd do to you like you would say no" clearly implying that he could have me anytime he wanted me. :-P rereading that back it sounds like we were having a total bitch fest. On the contrary it was quite the opposite and said with good humor. However I will say this if you are reading this I suggest you go back and read what I wrote carefully. The general gist of it is, yes I do find you attractive however it is your kinks that I find most appealing e.g what I meant by "i could spend hours trawling through fetlife and not find anyone quite like him" was that I don't think I'd find anyone I was attracted to that shares the same specific set of kinks like my own. And what I meant by "He would only so much to have to crook his finger" was that I simply don't submit to anyone in the bedroom, e.g there are a lot of factors involved for me, predominantly personality, build, trust and of course given that we have spoken extensively about the subject they have to be a 100% dominant in the bedroom, I'm really sorry but I do find it hard to submit to a switch. I do have one last thing to say I on the subject. I am not a toy that you can pick up and put down, nor am I a dog that will come running the second you click your fingers, the fact dear friend that you think you can have me so easily is the opposite of Viagra, in other words it makes my girl boner disappear. In order to so much as get a foot over the threshold of my boudoir you would have to work a lot harder by seeing me less as a commodity and more as a lady. I am officially off the menu to you, that is not a challenge it is merely a fact that you will never see me naked again. So to the man goss. A friend of a friend added me on Facebook, I'll call him Taurus simply because he is a Taurus and because of his lovely tattoo. After a quick nose at a couple of his pics I thought he was hot....dark hair, dark eyes smoking hot bod....riiiipped and a fantastic arse. After he messaged me and said he'd read my blog suffice to say he is a fellow kinkster. One night last week(the same night the comment was posted to my blog) he swung by work to see our mutual friend, he's even better looking in person. After I'd finished work at stupid o'clock in the morning I gave him directions to come and meet me. He did make me laugh when he walked into my room and said he was expecting bondage gear to be adorning the walls. The conversation flowed fluidly and quickly turned to kink, we discussed our love of the psychology behind it and briefly touched upon Freud's theories, and how its fascinating how our minds work and why we like what we like and both of us said that we could pin-point the experiences that lead us both to the kinks we had. Whilst he shared his story I wasn't forth coming with mine as I can recall only ever having told two people. As you all know I don't as rule practice kink with someone I don't know so I set the boundaries pretty quickly. Taurus is a switch and as I said earlier I find it hard submitting to a switch simply due to the fact most males switches tend to be predominantly sub and given that I too am sub in the long run someones needs are eventually going to feel like they are not being met. And I'm not sure I can imagine him domming me. However we did have a lot of fun, his nips are so sensitive, and he likes having them licked and squeezed so hard my knuckles turned white, he also liked my talons to the point where I made him bleed twice the second time being when he made me come with his fingers. Whilst we didn't fuck we had a great time and both came, I'm saving that until next time. I still don't know if I can imagine him domming me though, but then again I don't know him therefore can't make that decision yet. And on that note I'll leave it there Stay kinky Kinky Cupcake XOXO

Monday, 7 May 2012

I'm baaaaack!

Hey lovely ladies and gents, so how have you been? I'm doing pretty well compared to how I was in my last post. I arrived back in Exeter on Tuesday night. It was a bit of a mad rush and happened kind of fast. As in decided on Tuesday afternoon, called my previous landlord and boss, sent out two important "I'm coming back" texts, packed a suitcase and was off to Bristol train station a few hours later. It's crazy the things I packed as essentials to last me until my.stuff arrives, like four pairs of shoes plus the ones I was wearing and i?m sorry I don't care what anyone say's sex toys do count as essentials but in all fairness I did only pack five of them and my.nurses uniform(I'm just relieved my suitcase didn't open on the train, that might have been a bit embarrassing lol) So why am I back to soon, well as some of you may know I got worse in Wales, it got so bad where I wouldn't leave the house for days and plus I had a panic attack in A+E. Plus I have missed everyone in here, not just my friends either, I missed my job, work colleagues and faces i've gotten to know just from living here. Don't get me wrong I did ask myself if moving might be a bit too much too soon and would I be able to handle it after how bad it was. So i've made a pact with myself that if at any point I have a panic attack then I'm going for.the medication option, until I complete my therapy. So far i've fared pretty well it does have me slightly worried that perhaps I'll start having them again though. So from my previous blog it's safe to I wasn't getting any action whilst I was in Wales, you know other than getting frisky with the contents of my toy draw right? Well actually I did get.lucky and spent a substantial amount of time shagging my arse off, giving head and getting up to all sorts of deliciously perverted kinky things...all thanks to modern technology. Sure I do have mixed feelings about technology changing the way we meet people, as I personally prefer the more organic method e.g stepping away from the computer screen and going and meeting people that way, like coffee shops, being out and about, the supermarket,and even Victoria train station(hot spanish coffee barista, Ola guapo). However I have dabbled, in the online dating sites. And met a couple of people that I met online, but it was solely for sex, in fact I met the Wanderer and Colchester that way and I'm sure they will both agree that meeting was solely about the sex. The only reason I use dating sites such as Pof and fetlife. Not once has it been about finding a date. There is a serious perk cybering though well in my opinion there is, as my regular readers will know I have a taste for kinky sex, and whilst I dabbled in some kink experiences with Handsome Statham and of course a bit of spanking with some of the others, but I had know Handsome Statham for awhile both in and out of the bedroom before indulging he was the nipple torture and CBT and of course the infamous hand print. But for the most part I dont do kinky sex, the reason being is that involves a lot of trust, so hooking up with some random and letting him tie me up well that's just insanity and because I now no longer date I'm never with someone for long enough to feel safe enough t practice it with. So thanks to the sites I mentioned before I at least get to indulge a A bit even if it is just via my phone. So who is the gent who I spent a few hours sexting the arse off? Well all you need to know is that he's appeared in my blog before, but he's not a fan of having his kinks aired here so I'm not saying the nick name I wrote about him under as I promised I wouldn't. All you lovely lot need to know is that he's so hot he still makes my blood rush and the thought of him with his belt in his hand ready to take it to my ass and pussy, makes me quiver and my stomach knot and my.pussy wet. I'll admit I was a bit shocked to hear from him, when I moved I figured out of site out of mind. So his message was a nice surprise and a welcomed distraction. The thing about sexting with this guy is that it's never vanilla, there's only so.many ways one can describe giving a blow job and sex positions before it gets bland and I'm craving a kink fix, which with him I always got. Plus there are numerous ways to describe a kinky blow job like "i think about you fucking my mouth" or"ism on my knees with my hands tied behind my back, your fingers tangled up in my hair, sliding your cock in and out of my mouth before coming all over my face" that's a wank time regular. Most of sexting revolves around our mutual kinks.I had another kink that I hadn't mentioned, but that I had no intention of divulging what it was, despite him attempting to get it out of me by by doing the whole ill tell you mine if you tell me yours...turns out he was fresh out of unrevealed kinks...glad I didn't spill it haha. When it comes to being dominated though I am very choosey in the respect that with some guys I automatically think yes I can imagine them domming me. Like with this guy, I reckon he'd only so much as to crook his finger. I must admit I am pretty rubbish at saying no to him and its not just because he's hot, it is simply due to the fact that I spend too much time thinking with my clit. So anyway whilst we were messaging filth he asked me what id let him whip my pussy with, I said anything he saw fit too, his following reply really got my juices flowing, his belt, cane and my hair brush. Ummmmm yes please to all of the above lol. I must admit I could do with a serious bout of sexting right now, actually sod that the real deal would be preferable. I'm talking hot, rampant, up against the wall, bend me over my desk, take your belt to my ass and pussy, pull my hair, fuck me so hard, break furniture type sex. I'm trying to work out why he gets me wetter than anyone else and why he's such a constant regular when I'm having a play. Of course he is incredibly hot, but I think it's the fact that he's so kinky. I think I could spend hours trawling through fetlife and not find anyone quite like him in the respect of the mutual kinks we share. I'm very much so into degradation play and to hell with it if anyone wants to judge me or throw up after this next revelation, one of our mutual kinks is piss play, well golden showers to be more specific, it's the degradation aspect more so than anything. Admittedly after one of the videos I'd sent him I felt a bit awkward, like I needed some reassurance that he didn't see me differently, because I don't get up to this sort of thing with any old Tom, Dick or Harry. It's a trust thing, And who I am in the bedroom is not who I am outside of it. Don't misinterpret the golden showers thing, it's not like I get off on rolling around in piss, it's the degradation aspect that gets me off. I will admit after a brief conversation about Shibari(Japanese bondage it means "to tie" or "to bind" it is also known as Kinbaku-bi which translates as "the beauty of tight binding") I did make a confession about a scenario that got me off. I'm not spilling it here but despite my embarrassment, from his response he thought it was hot. It's funny the amount of new kinks i've developed a curiosity for since we began sexting. Whether its the cane, golden showers or having my pussy spanked with the business end of my hairbrush so hard till I cry well actually not cry(it is one thing to let a man piss on you, it is quite another to let him see you cry...i don't trust you that much hahah)scream. I think I'll leave it there. Things I'm loving right now Being back in Exeter My job Catching up in person with my bestie's. Martin Millar....his books are awesome. Things I'm hating right now Two faced people People who revert to behaving like apes when they are loosing an argument by flinging shit e.g saying I'm tired all the time because I don't about go suck a dick princess and whilst we're at learn how to strap on a pair. Stay kinky Kinky Cupcake XOXO

Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Kinky Cupcake turns spinster.

Hey lovely people So how have the last two months been? Well for me 2012 isn't going so great. So far the only good thing's to have come out of it is that I got to be a dancer well for an hour at least before I quit and threw my promo hoody back on haha, and of course a my friendships. However due to my Anxiety disorder progressively getting worse because I'm not taking medication for it, its successfully fucked up my life and my pending therapy seems a little too late.
I had to give up my job, a job that I was awesome at(there's not many strings to my bow but it's definitely one of them) and then on the Sunday just gone I had to give nice home and my amazing and wonderful best friends, house mates and faces i've gotten to know just from living in Exeter, whether I met them through working at Eden/EX4 bar or or out and about in town. My first day in Exeter, I decided that I could be anyone who I wanted to be, I could just shrug of the old me like a snake shedding, actually it was technically my third day, my first day at the Exeter blue banana. Living there I finally became the person I wanted to be...i stopped be shy, I became confident and happy and after awhile despite a viscous flare up of my anxiety disorder and OCD I stopped having to fake being confident, it became a natural thing, and as I got happier and finally comfortable in my own skin for the first time in my life I stopped giving myself such a hard time about the floors and in turn I became less angry and my temper simmered down and I didn't loose it as ofter....i actually felt like I belonged....for the first time in my life. And now I'm sitting here in a room that feels like its full of old memories not many of them happy, looking at the new cream paint covering the rather large crack in the door which is a constant reminder of what an angry bitch I used to be, feeling just as lonely, pissed off and isolated as used to. And god the guy drama uggh. I mean fair do's my sex life wasn't always plain sailing in Exeter however....I got a load more of cock. Yes kinky Cupcake readers I am an acquired taste here in wales.. I'm going to leave it there before I bore you all to tears....i will say this though I'm shit scared the therapy isn't going to work and that I'm contemplating taking medication. I would say stay tuned my next post as it'll be all about my having hooked up and gotten all kinds of sweaty and fucking the arse of some hot bloke but well something tells me I'm not in Kansas anymore...and that I'm more.likely to see a tin man than an eligible cock. Yours truly going bat crap crazy Kinky Cupcake XOXO

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Happy birthday Single, passion, shoes and lube

Hey lovely people so how has your month been? This post is really important to me, it is a milestone , minor achievement of which I am proud of. It's Single, passion, shoes and lube's first birthday. I can't believe i've been writing it for a whole year, that's a lot of posts, a lot of cock and a lot of orgasms. Most of all I can't believe and this is the bit I am proud of, that i've stuck with it that I didn't just quit on it after the first couple of posts. I've watched my stats with each post, which has grown from 20 reads to 350+ per post. I know that number in the grand scheme of things is small, but its still awesome to think that people are interested in what I have to say. I just want to say a huge thank you to all of you ladies and gents for reading it. Looking back at each of my posts its been a hell of a ride both figuratively and literally, a proverbial pick n' mix of good, bad, delicious men, charming men and guys that are the dolly least favourite sweet likely too induce gagging. Before I get into the guylights, I'll touch upon a few things that i've done this year. I took pole classes Worked in a sex shop Auditioned to be a dancer Got my sleeve(tattoo) started Made some awesome new friends Cherished my existing ones even more And shit canned some bad ones Bought a while load of new heels(so pretty) I've made some mistakes and hopefully learned from them too And baked some frickin' awesome cupcakes along the way too. Now for the guylights First place surprise surprise goes to King Tart, the best sex i've ever had shame he's such a monumental douche...more on that later Fucking the wanderer in the ass with a strap-on Kinky sex with valentine Going on a couple of actual dates to see if I was missing anything. Hanging out and making out with Sin even if it was just for one night. Discovering a whole host of new sex toys that are better than my rabbit...whoop whoop We-vibe Salsa! Sexting with Clit Tease....whilst we didn't make it too the bedroom I did discover a few things that I wasn't into before but now have piqued my interest in exploring(being caned and anal play. Red ass cheeks from Handsome Harry and Handsome Statham. The low lights. King Tart, you've read the blogs ladie's and gents so it's pretty much self explanatory. That I found out recently that Pecks Charming has been telling people that he pulled me in less than five words...I was sober and remember it a lot differently, don't know why he's bragging, I didn't invite him back for a repeat performance as at the time my clit only had eyes for King Tart. The realization that I only want bad boys....only they seem to hold my interest.The horrible realization that I'm just like everybody else in the respect that, despite believing in science and statistics, there's a small part of me that hopes I'm wrong, a small hope that I'll meet someone that will change my perceptions on ''mating for life'' That a part of me hopes that one day I'll eventually meet someone that makes me want to stand still for more than 5 minutes. And despite a couple of guys making me think what's never been mutual they end up fucking me off and I'm left with my insides feeling raw.I will try and focus on the facts and the figures because that way if I do end up flying solo it won't hurt as much...not everyone is meant to end up with someone, some of us are just meant to be alone. Which leads me onto the next part of my post. Clit Tease said to me quite recently that we don't always get what we want. Sure it's a common phase, shit the rolling stones wrote a whole song about it, however he said it quite recently and it got me to thinking how true a statement it actually is. It's usually the thing or person we want most that we don't get right. See a few months ago when I first started hooking up with King Tart, ill admit it I wanted him or at least I was curious about getting to know him outside of my bedroom you know normal stuff as opposed to his favourite sex position etc. But see if I did get wanted and that was of course a date (he sure as hell gave me some outstanding orgasms) guaranteed I would've been bored a few months down the line and then I wouldn't want him anymore....getting what we want is more often than not a case of the grass is always greener, a catch 22. See if I'm being honest I don't like King Tart very much just looking back at the shit he caused me, we've tried being friends you know after the incident where he decided to hand personal number out to his friend after my telling him vehemently not too, and my prominently. Reminding him that I'm not a fuck doll that he can pass around to his mates...i ignored the shit out of him for months after that...but as is my way I let it go and we trued to be friends but well King Tart being the way he is managed to fuck that up royally....again I short while ago I turned down one of his friends pointing out that I used too hook up with KT As a result every time the two of them walk past my place of work his friend takes the piss, this weekend however id had a titsful so on their way back up they stand in front of me looking like two naughty school boys, after throwing them a look of utter contempt and telling them that they needed to grow up and stop acting so bloody infantile(KT is 33 years of age) despite KT saying he was behaving automatically shifting the blame on to his mate and almost laughed in hiss face kT behave?? Must be seeing someone, I couldn't give a rats ass, all I care about is hi,m leaving me the fuck alone and keeping his friend on a leash....using the ''i was drunk and don't know what I'm doing line'' is a load of bs. I got him out of my head once and I'll sure as hell do it would be a damn site easier if he stopped being such a tosser though. On that note lovely ladies and gents, I'll leave it there as I'm a bit under the weather today. Stay kinky Kinky Cupcake XOXO

Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Happy belated new year

Hey lovely people so how's your month been? And yes it really has been that long since I last posted, I know towards the end of my last post, I mentioned that I'd be seeing Handsome Harry one last time before he headed home to Cornwall. And see him I did, I haven't written about it not because it wasn't noteworthy, I assure you it was, trust me and I'll get to it in a sec, but because i've been a bit unenthused about things lately and constantly tired, stressed and add my SAD into the mix and it's apparent as to why. The night with Handsome Harry was awesome, kudos he's outstanding in bed. The night he came over was the same night the electrics in my house were having a melt down so without the aid of music to mask the moans of pleasure or the resonance of the slaps Harry was laying on my ass, 3 of my housemates and two of their friends heard everything, and just after Harry had finished fucking the hell out of me up against the door and over my desk(the only way that could've been better is if he'd been taking a ruler to my ass cheeks) one of my house mates called through to see if my tv was working yet. Haha. Alas poor Miss bananas' ears did not escape unscathed as a short while later whilst I was smoking my post orgasm cigarette out of the window and chatting to her(through the kitchen window below) Harry thought it'd be a great time to slide his fingers inside me stroking my G-spot a short while later poor Miss bananas' ears were assaulted with the dulcid sounds of orgasm number three haha sorry babe. So all in all my last night with Handsome Harry was an unforgettable one, that was a month ago, it's been a month since I last got laid...i've had offers but declined them as my mojo is sooo on the blink. Seriously give or take the occasional self induced orgasm my south pole has been a dry state. And no your eyes do not beseech you I Kinky Cupcake just said occasional and orgasm in the same sentence, me the woman who wanks at least once a day and would have sex everyday if I could. I'm blaming my SAD and current stress levels. God if only my mojo was like a quick slap on the ass and it's temporarily fixed. *at the time I wrote that it was true* I Can't believe I hadn't had a play for two weeks I mean me of all people(every day) and considering I had wankers strain(no jokes I thought I'd pulled my calf muscles) after breaking my dry spell needless to say I shan't be leaving it two weeks till my next one thanks to my libido returning full force I'm back to a minimum of 5 square orgasms a day. I'll give you a brief overview as to the causes of my stress you know me I never divulge too much of my everyday life crap. December was a pretty shitty month which thankfully is in the past admittedly only 18 days but still its a new year. The following ingredients that turned December into ''shit pie'' are as follows; SAD, my first anxiety attack in almost a year, repeatedly having them and passing out from them. See reflecting on all of that I released a very important thing. That I should've done my Cognitive behavioral therapy years ago because as a result of my illness I let it screw up a job that I loved and one that I was bloody well good at. So come 31st December I got busy making new years resolutions something which I hadn't done in years, simply because I never stick to them, we all do it. I made three and I'm pleased to say i've already stuck to one already well started the ball rolling. Here they are 1, To be more ruthless with my affections as some people clearly think they can walk all over me. 2, To do my CBT 3, my least fave out of the lot and most likely to induce have my wisdom tooth out. Which leads me swiftly onto the last 3 weeks. Due to parting ways with Simply pleasure, I was left with an additional lump of stress when it dawned on me that unless I found another job ASAP, that I might have no other option but to move back to wales and crash at my uncles, the thought of moving back to wales makes me die a bit inside not because my uncle isn't awesome (he so is) but because it would mean I'd failed here. Given that the current job market is horrendous it looked like returning to wales was imminent. So I asked my boss if I could audition to be a dancer, I saw it as a quick fix solution. Now ism not going to lie here I had my audition and I sucked, I had no issue with taking my clothes off it was the actual dancing bit, seriously people I can't dance for shit...turns out the only time I dance well is when I'm in a club on a night out and grinding up on some hot guy in a club that I'm planning on having my wicked way with when the night ends. Fair play though my boss did give me a second chance to audition after I practiced with one of the ladies, it was a bit better, so my boss agreed to let me dance for one night a week, my first shift being the following night. So on Friday afternoon I went and met up with a work colleague/friend to get some stuff to wear. When I got to work that night and was dressed in my gorgeous grey and black dress, Kurt Geigers and make-up perfectly applied for the first time in forever, I think I knew from the start of my shift that it wasn't for me, so 45 mins into my shift before there was even a customer I asked my boss if i could and promote instead. I know it seems like a got what I wanted then didn't want it anymore or that I failed but honestly its not the case. I tried it and it wasn't for me,everyone around me agrees that it took balls to even audition but someone I know, someone I like called me a failure, which stung more than it should because they don't know jack about me. So my job hunt continues, i've been handing out cvs left, right and centre and I have a job interview lined up for next week. I have also started my CBT well had my assessment at least and I must admit it was a very cathartic experience, spilling all my crazy into the ears of someone who totally understands and are there to help. I start my course in either February or april depending on how full they are.

Now to the man goss, there's not too much to tell, however I did swap digits on the weekend with a total hottie, but by the time his night out was done with I was well into the throws of an enlargement with Clit Tease, and my horn was rapidly dissipating, so as hot new guy was on his way home, Clit Tease and I were still bickering and is often the way with me, our enlargement took a turn for the filthy and a short while later I was saying things more along the lines of ''i want your cock in my mouth'' as opposed to ''you are a cock'' so instead of fucking the hell out of the new hottie I ended up sexting with Clit Tease. I swear he's like the human version of nicotine...has the ability to give us a rush, but is incredibly bad for us. I swear my common sense completely goes out of the window when it comes to him...ism so sick of walking around with a girl boner for him as half the time he pisses me off as he only seems to want to speak to me when it suits him. On that note I shall leave it there lovely people. Things I'm loving right now I <3 Vegas by Lindsey Kelk...funny as My new(ish) hair cut Amos The Transparents' song After all that's come to this Suits the new tv show on Dave That I have an interview next week Things I'm hating right now That I can't leave the house without my head phones(its called distraction) That I still lack common sense when it comes to Clit Tease That I still haven't found a second job The fact that for two nights in a row i've had rejection dreams uggh! Stay tuned for next months post guys and dolls as it will be Single, Passion, Shoes and lubes 1st birthday Can't believe its been almost a year since I started writing it...thank you all for reading it Stay kinky, Kinky Cupcake XOXO