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Wednesday, 20 July 2011

Horny? You must be a nympho

Hey lovely people so how's your week been? The last couple of weeks have been some what turbulent. There's a huge question mark from my past that I keep coming back to like if I just re-examine the fragments i'll get some clarity like the answer will just pop up and make sense. The lesson I learrned last week is this...if you going digging around you better be prepared for a couple of skeletons to pop out at you. I know i'm being cryptic here but truth be told I like to keep things light here, i'm not one for exposing my raw nerves on a grand scale I don't like showing the world that on occasion I feel broken and vulnerable i'm more likely to discusss the ins and outs with my super close friends or my sister. I will say this though about an hour after the conversation I had on thursday I was busy still trying not to throw up and in the throws of an anxiety attack. And if I stop to think about my options, the next step and do I choose to take it, it makes my throat does that annoying tight thing which it always does when an anxiety attack is on its way, so I have to take time out and stick it like a wadge of gum to the back of my mind to come back too. The weekend was so chaotic and swirly that I barely had time to eat let alone think about it, I spent friday and the rest of the weekend working hard and getting upto all kinds of naughty stuff...hells yeah i'll come back to the naughty bit in a mo, but all in good time ladie's and gent's.

A couple of weeks ago I was having a conversation with one of my new housemates, where he'd asked me with a dead pan expression on his face whether or not I was a nymphomaniac, and whilst had he asked it in a jokey fashion and used the word nymphomaniac as slang for overtly sexual and randy then in that context my answer would have been yeah sure. However in the context he'd said it my answer was no purely because I think if I was I would be going home with anyone, but as you lovely lot know I have exceptionally high standards and it takes someone pretty phenomenal(all round) to get my attention. Honestly I only had a vague concept of what nymphomania aka Hypersexuality was and knew very little about it, it transpires our Doctors know very little about it too. After that conversation with my housemate I knew that I wanted to learn about it to satiate a curiosity. So what is nymphomania? It is uncontrollable or excessive sexual desire in a woman. From the numerous sites I perused last night. The information I gathered is all a bit wishy washy. Alot of sites stipulate that it is a mental disorder marked by compulsive sexual behaviour, for those unaware of what compulsions are they're unwanted actions or rituals that a person engages in repeatedly without getting pleasure from them (hands up those of you who have had to get your friend to check that the plug socket is turned off on account of checking and flicking for about two solid minutes, and hands up those of you that have tidied up all of the loo roles in your local supermarket whilst buying some. And yep I did both of those things) when I read that bit of info about compulsion my first thought was whats the point of having sex unless the two of you are going to have a good time? Whether or not nymphomania qualifies as a true mental illness is often debated in the medical community but evidence suggests its a serious illness namely because of concerns for STD's. Some believe there is no known cause for it. HOwever others believe that like any other illness it may arrive as a result of enviroment, heredity and life events. It may also be linked to a chemical imbalance in the brain(neurotransmitters) emphasis on the may also bit.
I would just like to dispel the silly notion of nymphomania hypersexuality soley being found in women...its bollocks, it just has a different name and no its no likestofuckalotitis when a man has it is called Satyriasis(both Nymphs and Satyrs are found in greek mythology) here is a list of symptoms I found
*Compulsive sexual behaviour including promiscuity(it may occur with other symptoms of OCD or other mental disorders
*Difficulty concentrating
*Feelings of shame or inadequacy
*Repeated, uncontrollable behaviours(compulsions)
*Repeated, unwanted thoughts(obsession)
People at risk of getting nymphomania
*Aged under 30
*Family history of mental illness
*Female gender
*Homosexual orientation
*Personal history of mental illness
*Recent traumatic life event
The symptoms and risk factors could apply to anyone.

Personally from the research i've done the more I doubt that Nymphomania and Satyriasis exist. Some authors have questioned whether it makes sense to discuss Hypersexuality at all, arguing that extreme sexual urges merely stigmatise persons who do not conform to the norms of their culture or peer group. Personally I blame the 1000's of years of female oppression, when women were seen as sinful lowly creatures that only existed to cook, clean, and service their husbands, big thanks to the bible for all of that by the way. Not like old days when frolicking in the woods was acceptable. Think i'm getting all man hating feminist here, i'm really not and here's why, women were treated appaulingly I personally think its thanks to the mental institutes in the victorian times that it is seen as an exclusively female illness, and were treated disgustingly bad and by todays standards tortured upon diagnosis. Back then women were classified as mentally ill for nymphomania if they were a victim of sexual assault(yep you read that right) ''abused themselves''(wanked) or were deemed promiscuous or got pregnant out of wedlock, the next bit of infomation is beyond pharsical upon arrivval at the asylum doctors would give the woman a pelvic exam if they felt that she had an enlarged clitoris she would undergo treatments. These treatmens included, induced vomitting, blood letting, leeches, restricted diet, douches to the head or breats and at times Clitoridectomy's(removal of the clitoris) and having caustic substances appiled to their bits, anyone saying what the fuck yet? Doctors used to apply the greek remedies but hey thank fuck for modern medicine. Those were the days when a woman could give a gent a furtive glance or admit to beeing aroused from a novel, and she was instantly diagnosed as being ill. Cases of Satyriasis were few and far between in otherwords less men were diagnosed, can't say i'm really suprised if they'd heard what the treatment for women was. I personally think that the term Nymphomania was pennned when sexuality/sex was a dirty word and as women were seen as the weaker sex then heaaven forbid she had the same urges as man. The way that the people in power(law and Doctors) treated people for feeling a bit horny and to admitting it was abominable just look at the treatment of Marquis De Sade(1740-1814) french aristocrat, politician, philosopher and writer famous for his libertine novels spent a total of 35yrs in and out of prison and asylums just for liking his sex a bit kinky with a lashing of pain. Hence Sadomasochism. So in conclussion the term Nymphomania and satyriasis is an archaic label for the horny and the next time someone asks me if i'm a nympho my answer will be yes although it is not a compulsion.

Right to the man goss, well ladie's and gents I had a sinfully fun weekend! Suck it dry spell! Handsome Statham(as in looks like Jason Statham...yum)
He's tall, shaven headed, blue eyed and looks like the kind of guy you want to get all kinds of tangled up in. definitely made me lick my lips. Handsome Statham is very smooth and aside from the few hours I spent flirting with Beautiful Tattoo (mentioned in my last blog) I can't recall a time where i've flirted so brazenly...ladies and gent's I do believe I was talking fluent slut and my body was pretty much saying ''so your hot we should fuck'' on my behalf haha gosh I really have no was obscene. So after a number swap on friday where he'd written his number down on a co-workers hand when I was up in town flyering...needless to say saturday night had a deliscious ending to it despite being sleep deprived of zombie perportions. Ummm what to say about saturday it was incredibly hot bit different from the usual hook up in the respect that it wasn't straight down to the fucking soon as they're through the door not that there's anything wrong with that *takes a moment to remember the best sex of my life with King Tart) it was really sensual I think that aside from his good looks his intelligence is insanely sexy. Because whilst we were lounging around naked(ladies oh my...) inbetween sucking face and stroking etc the conversation's were interesting.
And whilst we explored each other's bodie's trying to find each others weak spots, he gave me a was blissfull and my right shoulder is now knot free...thanks handsome. It was really hot, its always nice when guys take time to work out where your other erogenous zones are as oppossed to going straight to the obviouus ones. And kudos he definitely knows where the G-spot is.;-)
So it appears I have a new fuck buddie we're both on the same page, its seemingly straight forward so far as oppossed to how much hassell it was with King Tart who managed to make the most straight forward thing(casual sex) into a pain in the ass which is a shame as he was so gooood and everytime I glance at my Machine Head poster with the visible crease still in it I think about those numerous orgasms that caused it crinkle and tear from the door.
Handsome Statham came over to mine on sunday night too second night in a row he climed in through my window haha. He is also the only man I know that has actually let me do something seriously girly to him...thats right folks I chastised him for biting hang nails(you know the aannoying bit of nail or cuticle that occasionally pokes up at the side of your nail) then I whipped my nail file out and my cuticle clippers and went to town on his fingers. Then we fucked...i really love that feeling when you first slide down onto a rock hard dick. I must admit I was seriously in awe of aa certain talent that most men lack..when he came he was rock solid again in seconds, and when he did come it was the most sexiest sound it was gutteral, primal and throaty even. Hot as fuck.

Things i'm loving right now
The delicsious chocolate cupcakes I made to cheer Miss Banana up with.
That Long Legs has met someone really special(you deserve it babe and i've never seen you so happy)
Dirty Sexy Things purely for Perou of course
Veruca Salt Seether

Things i'm hating right now
That I still don't know whether or not to take the big step or how the heck to go about taking it in the first place
That I saw an advert for erectile dysfunction but the stats are based on a 2yr study off US males err hello we're in the UK how the hell do those stats apply here. Also british people that have started putting the month first then the date...again we are in the uk and you wouldn't say i'm going to wear my heels black or walk into a shop and ask for a cupcake strawberry, no offense to my american friends i'm sure us brits have annoying habits that are making their way across to your tv's etc.

Hope you all have a lovely week stay kinky KinkyCupcake XOXO

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

Hey good lookin' its all about flirtation

Hey lovely people so how's your week been? Mine has been pretty good with the exception of friday when I got a bit shouty, a bit sweary and alot hand gesturey on account of being livid. I would like to say a huge fuck you to those who were responsible for friday and a huge thank you to Miss Banana and the lucious Long legs for not cringing at each expletetive including the word cunt which peppered my retelling of the events that happened on friday afternoon...i love you both!

So on account of not having had any action for 3 weeks(which as you know is a hell of a long time for me...longest dry spell so far this year) i've decided to write about flirtation...the good stuff that paves the way to fucksville so to speak or at least gives us a good buzz. I've had a couple of conversations with a couple of different people on the subject and i've done some research and discovered a few interesting things that made a light bulb flash in my head as in ''oooooh he sooooo did that'' see bless me for the most part i'm a pretty observant person and pick up on the most obvious signals its the more subtle ones I generally miss out on. I remember a few years ago when I was 16/17 and turning to a friend of mine complaining that I didn't know how to flirt to which she replied ''yess you do you flirt with everyone'' upon pressing her to elaborate on what she meant by that she simply said that I smile and laugh alot. I naively thought that flirting was soley verbal. Thankfully now in my twenties i've wised up alot and am aware that our body has a large part to play in it, in fact up until yesterday I had no idea how large a part it does actually play. Only 7% of aa womans attraction is shown through verbal communication, 38% percent is through tone of voice and and whopping 50% is body language.

On the weekend I spent a substantial amount of time flirting with a seriously beautiful gent(those pahahaing and saying that a bloke can't be called beautiful, thats bollocks beauty is non-gender specific) so Beautiful Tattoo and i were talking about the topic and i'd said that if our mouths arn't saying it then our bodies are saying it for us, then I went on to use the fact that I bite my bottom lip alot when i'm attracted to someone. He went on to point out that I play with my hair, at which point my jaw dropped slightly and the piece of hair I was twirling got thrown over my shoulder as in the ''ooooh yep you caught me flirting, yep my body was being nice and slutty there on my behalf'' god knows why I felt like i'd been caught on i'd already told he had nice hands and that he'd looked sexy as hell chewing on that toothpick when i'd bumped into him a few weekends ago. Fuck me I honestly have no shame. The point i'm making here is this our brains are designed to make us behave in certain ways, flirting is as old as women. Our bodies give off these signals. To prospective ''mates'' or ''hook ups'' we do certain things subconsciously like the whole playing with my hair thing I do it for two reasons. Onee is consciously I play with it when i'm at home either when i'm day dreaming or just chilling simply because it relaxes its silky haha. Aand the second is subconsciously which I only do around me i'm attracted too. Beautiful Tattoo went on to point out that loads of girls play with with their hair...duh its because they're attracted to you. But i'll get to why us facinating creatures do that in sec. But first things first. Why do we do it? Why do we flirt? The answer is n obvious and simple one...we do it to test levels of mutual attraction before visibly acting! No one likes rejection. It dates back to when we lived in smaller dwellings/villages and had you been rejected by a prospective mate it would travel like wild fire therefore making the rejected as a popular as a fart in a can and less sexually viable.
And despite being as evolved as we are and somewhat more of a sophisticated animal when it comes to ''mating'' or ''getting lucky'' we revert back to a more primitive state twhen it comes to our baser urges. Here's a feww interesting tidbits for your delectation a few common signals

Common signals seen in both sexes.
The forehead bow: if a person tips their head slightly forward and looks up at you from uunder their brow, they're inviting you to come closer.
Your pupils dialate: I've mentioned this one before, when we're attracted to someone our pupils dialate regardless of how much light there is in the room. Its also a completely involuntary response.
Smiling of course.

Heres a couple of gender specific ones that gents exhibit
They stand tall or sit up straight
They thrust their shoulders back their chest outward like numerous other male animals
Gents engage in grooming behaviours such as picking imaginary fluff off his clothes or straightening his tie(thus drawing attention to himself)
Have their palms facing up when gesticulating or resting, this act shows their openess and vulnerability thus showing they're friendly and approachable(king tart did this on saturday night still didn't prevent me from calling him a dick and telling him to pretty much go fuck himself on account of my not being remotely interested in him anymore.

Here's some common ones that ladies exhibit
This one is for Beautiful Tattoo and any of you other gents that have a wondered why women play with their hair
We twirl/play/stroke our hair for a few reasons; to expose our necks, because we are nervous and my personal favourite itss a sign of playful arousal. Its used to attract a mans attention or to show him that his masculinity is attractive to us.
We arch our backs which makes our bums and boobs stick out.
We gently bite or lick our lips. We compel attention to what many biologists believe are facial echo's of vaginal lips. Transmitting sexual maturity and our interest in sex.

Basically if someone you like mirrors any of these signals they're into you but however if you see clusters of them then you're pretty much golden.
Some guys I find put out mix signals which is a total pain in the ass as you can't just come outright and say hey so whats the deal fancy hooking up or not. Now before I leave things there I read an interesting page on attraction. Humans like symmetry we also like healthy immune systems which is why uss ladies are more likely to go forr tall square jawed men. We are more likely to select tall symmetrical men when we are ovulating as scientists that did a recent study which entailed 20 or so men sleeping in the same t-shirt for two nights and asking 20 women to smell the scent on the t-shirt studies showed that the women who were in ovulating preferred the scent of the most symmetrical over all of the asymmetrical men and the women that were in other stages of their cycle had no preferance at all. Another studied showed that flirtation is most successfull among the most symmetrical. Mens body symmetry matches up with the number of lifetime sex partners they report having. They also engage in more infidelity and get to sex more quickly after meeting someone than asymmetrical men. They also loose their virginity earlier in life too so in other words us symmetrical lot are bunch of total sluts too busy spreading their symmetry around than to make long term partners.

Things i'm hating right now
The conversation I overheard on Friday
That the conversation that I overheard caused me to loose my rag and try to put my phone through a wall ashamed
That I havn't gotten lucky in like 3 weeks

Things i'm loving right now
The new sex toys we got in work...i'm upgrading on payday whoop!
That my besties bought me a delish coffee into work on satuday bestest ever!
That I bumped into mr handsome on saturday night christ I forget how adonis like he is!

Right then lovely ladies and gents i'm going to leave it there for now, hope you all have an awesome week
Stay kinky Kinky Cupcake XOXO