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Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Who gives the best sex?

Hey lovely people how's your week been? This is my 2nd attempt tonight at writing this apparently I do not write well under the following circumstances, when I have a raging temperature or when I have the total honey that is King Tart texting me naughty stuff. I have nearly clicked the clicky top off of my pen in sexual frustration, don't you hate it when a guy is being selfish with his penis, ok i'll retract that, there are a couple of reasons he's not here bending me over the bed and fucking me into oblivion...wank it is. Whilst we're on the subject of King Tart he liked my blog. It always makes me smile when I get positive feedback from you lovely lot whether its from the gents that are in it or you ladies and gents that swing by for a read. Some of you might have seen my status update on facebook where I said i'd checked my stats and checked the audience(nifty tool it tells me which countries have been viewing it) and thought that Canada boy had been reading being he's the only Canadian I know whos actually in Canada. I mentioned to my mate that it irritated me some that he just dips into my blog to see what i've been upto when he could've just emailed me and asked. But after a few emails bickering not that it matters but it wasn't him and neeedless to say I won't be contacting him again as its clear we were far from compatible and I wasted so much time, its funny up until then I sometimes missed him...not anymore!

I had tuesday and wednesday night of last week due to work being closed. I didn't do anything exciting in fact I was the epitome of lazy. I had a mosey into town for a caramel latte uuuummmm, wearing my favourite shoes (welcome aboard wedges with the anchors on so pretty) and that was about the extent it being it was so fricking hot...kinky cupcakes melt in the sun. However I did watch a couple of films which was cool. Little Focker which i'd been looking forward to watching as the previous two are undeniably funny but i've got to be honest it was a bit of a let down in ccomparrison to the previous two it was less than fabulous. One of the most memorable lines being ''Can girls poop from their vaginas?'' which I thought was pretty funny. And the face off between Jinxy the cat and Arthur the lizzard, which by rules of the jungle Jinxy wins and Arthur is then seen with his backside and tail dangling from a rather smug looking Jinxy's mouth. But don't fret lizzard lovers Arthur is eventually saved by Gaylord and Jack. I won't spill anything else I don't want to spoil it for those of you that havn't yet seen it. Although not as good as its predessors, its still hilarious and worth a watch. My film of the week award goes to ''Going the distance'' Nowadays i'm not a fan of rom-coms but this one had me gripped from the get go, it's packed full of funny, Drew Barrymore is brilliant her character is spunky and blunt. I'm not going to give much away not even the story line(go watch it yourselve's lol its worth it) which by the way is at least plausible thus making it a decent film. My favourite lines that had me pissing myself laughing ''You cut your own hair and suck your own're like a swiss army knife''
''I encourage you to eat a big bowl of dick'' (most grotesque)
And my personal favourite
''You could be kissing that blow job factory she calls a mouth''
And yes as like most rom-coms it does have the obligatory ''happy ending'' and the cliché ''making love scene thats cuts to a shot of the window with the rain pouring down outside. But over all it was an excellent film.

Some of you may have seen my facebook post last week asking for volunteers for this here new blog. And 11 of you luscious lot answered this question: Who is better in bed, Older, younger or people of the same age. That question is older than we are. Its been bandied around many a table on girls/boys night out and numerous girly magazines for that matter. The ladies that gave their opinions i'm going to call the ones that appear after sweets and yes I know it sounds incredibly cutesy but you all have a sweet streak in you.
So I did a tally and the results are quite interesting in the reespect that the 6 of you that said they think older are better 5 of them were women with Kinkg Tart being the token man that prefers older women (you dirty bitch you know what i'm referring to;-))
So with the majority opting for older its easy to presume that the remaining 5 sit snugly in the 'Younger and same age catagories' right? Our survey says eee errrr nope not even close, Valentine is the only one that prefers younger, but the remaining 4 (Black Jacks, Professor, Cheeky Charming, and P.s Not Sweet) had the same's not how old they are its how experienced they are that matters...wondering which box I ticked? I'll reveal in a mo but first I'd like to share some of my volunteers opinions. In the purple corner batting for team 'Older' we have the lovely Lollypop who was responsible for giving me the first hair cut that I loved(up until 3weeks after my 15th birthday I had waist length blonde hair...enter my goth phase) and who was one of my best friends in highschool. The lovely Miss Lollypop say's
''I would like to declare that older men are infinitely better in bed!'' Lollypop has been seeing an older man and say's ''its definitely the best'' and ''the extra''' years ''means hes more skilled, less awkward and generally nothing shocks him''
Umm what do you think of this? My initial response to Lollypop was that I think older men are cool as the last two gents i've hooked up with have been in their 30's and I agreed that the older they are the less shockable they are. But i'm going to have to retract that last statement as whilst it maybe the case with Valentine(pure filth haha) and wboy who despite never hooking up with was totally unfazed by the contents of my blog, its not always been the case with older gents though.
Also batting for team 'Older' we have Anaseid balls (we used to get them from the sweetshop from Cheshire) shes one of my favourite people. Lady Anaseid had this to say
''Total cliche I know but some of the best sex I ever had was with someone who was about 14 years older than me'' My response to that is, who was that?

In the Phalo green corner batting for team ''It's experience that counts'' we have Professsor and ex boss and a friend. Professor says
''Well i've been in relationships with all 3, i've had rubbish older one and rubbish younger ones. But i've also had great younger ones and great older ones. So to summarise;it makes no difference on how old you are or how young it's what you do that counts''
And also batting for team ''It's experience that counts'' is P.S Not Sweet who was my first love i'm putting his response down simply because he made me laugh
''I'm better in bed what ever age I am at the time'' my response to that is this: sex with you wasn't great because of your age, or your experience or because we were both wildly passionate people, sex with you was fucking spectacular because it was based on feeling no i'm not getting all sentimental or nostalgic for that matter
But you were my first and last love therefore that made it.
Ahhh bet that spun you lovely lot out, Kinky Cupcake hasn't always had such extremist views on dating, love and all that once upon a time I was in love but thats another story for another blog, in otherwords when I hear back from P.S Not Sweet as to whether or not he minds me writing about it lol

So to go back to what Professor said. I concur thats exactly what I think. I've been with numerous people Older and guys that are the same age as me and i've got to tell you i've had good and bad in both types. Some of the older guys havn't had a clue but lucky for them and me i'm vocal about what I like what I don't, do it harder, softer, faster etc and some of them have been seriously shocked and vice versa in regards to guys the same age as me. I think communcation in bed is essential for a good shag no two ways about it. I'm not a huge fan of guys that are younger than me if i'm being honest purely in the respect that they play too many games when it comes to getting me into bed ( boring and old) I don't like it when they don't play by my rules 'you're in the jungle baby'' and this tigeress eats boys like you for breakfast''

On that note i'm going to leave it there, thank you to everyone who gave me their opinions
Have a lovely week stay sexy, stay kinky
Kinky Cupcake xo

Monday, 18 April 2011

Orgasmic sunday

Hey lovely people so once again i've been a little lax on writting, but its not because i've been swinging from cock to cock or swinging for that matter lol. Things on the man front have been mellow this past fortnight by my own doing. Sure i've flirted my arse off, but i've not taken anyone home. I did however spend some extra one on one time with my vibrator...hey a girls gotta eat. My last blog was quite possibly the most brutally honest thing i've written. I'm generally not one for exposing my vulnerable side. In some ways it makes me squirm despite it having been a cathartic experience. Due to the way I was feeling about myself I thought the best remedy would be to take some time out, recharge and drag myself out of the funk. Which I did quite nicely jees I do give good advice and for once I actually took my own advice and it worked. I do have some man juice to spill but before I get to it i'll give you an update of a couple of things i've been upto before I get into it.

I have something to tell you all that made my day. A week ago I was checking my emails and I recieved one from from the lovely ladies at More! Magazine saying that they were reading my blog and loving it. How cool is that. I didn't expect to get a response from the email I sent containing the link to my blog so it was awesome to get a positive response back. Valentine and I joke that his dick is famous on facebook due to my blog so I text him saying its now famous outside of facebook haha.

So what have I been upto for the last two weeks if i've not been upto my usual cock orientated antics. It's simple, i've been having ho'mances with my best friend(lucky lady is in Malta) we went to see one of my favourite bands in one of my favourite venues...Fatty Chan(who are chiffing rad by the way check them out on facebook) at Cavern. Now my best friend has a very diverse taste in music and listens to some cool stuff. However she's not a fan of metal...i played her some of Fatty Chans stuff and she liked it:-) mwahahaha I deflowered your metal cherry!
The vocalist has a phenomenal voice, one minute its like gravel on tracks such as ''Pound'' and ''Head full of war'' then smooth as bluesy smoke on tracks such as ''Survive'' and the chorus of ''Monsoon'' The band has so much energy on stage. Thats the markings of a great band great songs, energy and the ability to suck the audience in, captivating them. Positive energy is contageous at a gig the good vibes. See I could never write a review of a gig or album, i'm way too biased to take an objective point of view Fatty Chan rock! That night was great fun.

In my last blog I mentioned I was thinking about having a half sleeve done, but didn't want to reveal what I was having done until i'd had it. A week or so ago I booked in with a friend. I'm super happy with it. I've got the constellation of Orion and the constellation of Virgo done. Its super beautiful. I got Orion done because he's one of the only constellations i've been able to pick out since I was a young'un and i'm ruled by the night thats why I chose to Orion done and as for Virgo she only appears in the sky during the summer and as some of you know I have SAD therefore at my brightest during spring and summer. Its healed nicely and i'm booking in for some colour this week....can't wait

Right to the man goss. First things first, Valentine and I are no longer fucking each other senseless, the door on that chapter has been closed, but despite the fact that we are no longer getting upto all kinds of kinky things we are friends. It also means that my neighbours might start to like me again...we were pretty damn noisey.
I had a bit of fun this weekend with a guy i'll call King Tart see thats not as derogatory as it sounds being that i'm defintely the Queen of tarts is it possible that i've actually met someone that is as promiscuous as I am? Ok ladies this one is a total honey, gorgeous blue eyes, dark hair and a filthy smile that puts dirty thoughts in my head and ok lick him in interesting places;-) I've seen him around a couple of times and we've chatted briefly on facebook (when my apps not having a meltdown). On saturday night we hooked up and after a sticky start namely him and his friend asking me for a threesome (dude thats the kind of naughty you need to be ober for) and the two of them demolishing my housemates homemade pizza. Honestly you can't leave blokes alone for two minutes...delinquents. Once King Tarts mate was in a taxi, and the two of us had slinked off to my room, things got a bit hotter and clothes were quickly being shed *filthiest smile on my face remembering him and an lovely bum too although he won't let me fuck it how unfair is that!*

I really like the first time you hook up with someone new its hot as fuck, we allow the wild in us to come out and play isn't that the way it should be all the time. He found my weak spot about two seconds after kissing neck, kissing, biting now that right there bring out the animal in me. So I think we're well matched inregards to sex I like it a bit rough in fact I make no bones about it. Now either King Tart paid very close attention to that bit in my blog where I say I like having my hair pulled or i'm pretty lucky lol. Now i'm not going to lie here it wasn't all smooth sailing due to a couple of factors but it was still hot. There was a bit of banter which mainly consisted of the two of us calling each other a whole host of epithets from slut bag to my personal favourite and one I like calling blokes 'dirty bitch'. The afternoon was fun despite my being woken up by the worlds most annoying alarm clock and being that I would never dream of touching someone elses phone spent 5 minutes trying to rouse sleeping beauty from his slumber to turn the damn thing off which he was adamant that he had even when it was still going hahaahah god I don't do mornings. A few hours later he made up for it though by making me come...nothing like an orgasm or two to kickstart your day;-) i'm getting the horn just thinking about it. Now as hot as King Tart is he's not au fait with bedroom hook up etiquette. In other words the golden rule of having sex with Kinky cupcake I mentioned earlier to him the faux pas that bugged me so much on the weekend. I'm a straight up kind of chick so it wouldn't have been very me to not have mentioned it, and now I have i'm totally game for being seriously naughty with him again at some point. Its funny he said somthing in particular that struck a chord with me in the respect that i'm pretty much the same...he liikes flying solo in regards to the opposite sex during the week, that he likes his space. And i'm exactly that way too I love my own space hence not wanting a boyfriend, I like sprawling out in my own bed and juust doing my own thing, and chilling with my mates etc. Although I am a huge huge fan of afternoon delight, my sex drive is so high i'd have it every day if I could.

Things i'm loving right now
My Barry M shocking pink lipstick its a bit dry ladies so a slick of Gosh Lip jam over the top=perfect pout
The secret life of bees (the film) the book is one of my favourites so I was dubvious but they stick to the book down to smallest detail
The strawberry cupcakes I baked last week(that were demolished in no time) made with real strawberries, moist and heavenly acording to the housemates
Summer yey, shorts and flip flops!

Things i'm hating so bad
That my radtastic ninja kitty Motley is still missing. Thank you to everyone back home thats been keeping an eye out especially James who's been driving through the village looking. I'm still hoping he'll show up its been over a week now :'(

Thinks that are shit
That I saw a black cat that looked just like mine earlier near the church by my house. And as clever as my little Hell raiser Motley is theres no way he could've made it from Wales to here.

Before I sign off i'd like to say a massive congrats to my best friend James on getting a press pass for High voltage festival. Dude you're going to be a superstar photographer tell Slash I love him <3
Have a radtaastic week lovely people Kinky cupcake xoxox