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Saturday, 7 March 2015


Out of all of my exes Popeye is the one I wish I was friends with the most. He won't return my emails, he won't tweet me back and I highly doubt I'll get a response to my letter. We were friends for awhile but he broke off the friendship because I was being so negative. I'm in a better place compared to last year but I fear it might be too little too late. Also if there was anyone who could fix my aerial it would be him. He is so smart.

Monday, 2 March 2015

Big bad handsome man no more

It would appear I have unceremoniously been dumped. Despite said boyfriend being clued into my BPD, he screwed me then a week later dumps me on the merrit of being overly emotional. No shit Sherlock that's what BPD essentially boils down too. I am feeling it heavily too. My BPD is a curse and I fear there is no-one out there with the necessary patience needed to ever love me.

Sunday, 22 February 2015

My Big Bad Handsome Man.

This post is named after one of my favourite songs by Imelda May. So there is a new man in my life who I'll call Big D. He is to quote Imelda, tall, mad mean and good lookin' he is also sweet and very good at caning. I am writing this sitting on my bruised bottom...which has three yellowish cane shaped bruises on a sea of purple.

So what is Big D like? He is sweet, a total gent (read that as opens and closes car doors for me) he takes zero percent of my nonsense and he is kinky as fuck. He makes the submissive in me feel safe to come out and invokes the overwhelming urge to not only please him but to take care of him, much in the way he has already taken care of me. Suffice to say I am a smitten kitten and in a perpetual state of horniness. He also a bit older than me, he is in his forties, shaven headed by my own hands no less and he wears Doc Martens, you all know about my thing with shoes. And last but not least...he smells divine...that sexy cocktail of Joop aftershave and his natural pheremones. He barely got through my front door before I was kissing him. Releasing two weeks of pent up desire.

Big D gave me a caning and whilst it was a thrill it was unequivocally a punishment. My BPD lead me to behave in the most appalling manner, and resulted in my foul mouthed self telling him to go fuck himself amongst other thing's. After the caning I got, there is no doubt that there will not be a repeat performance, even if it did make my cunt wet.

This weekend has been nice and chilled, we watched movies cwtched up on my sofa, we had hot kinky sexy. And I woke up for the first time since my last hospital admission not feeling anxious, so truth be told I'm very content today despite my sore bottom, so I felt inspired enough to tell the world about it.

Kinky Cupcake xox

Saturday, 31 January 2015

Twangging my bean alone

I honestly feel like I'll never get laid again. I feel fat and frumpy and worst of all I am missing Popeye like a bitch. Despite going through old Fetlife posts where he is outed by not only myself but two other women that he has fucked over in exactly the same way that he has fucked me over countless times. It all boils down to sex, that and that he's probably a sociopath according to the article I have just read. He is the best I have been with. Even the phonesex induced orgasms were better than some full on physical sexual encounters. I hare his guts but I am missing the sex of both physical and telephone variety. This on top of my BPD is a downer
Sign bed your favourite spinster cat lady

Thursday, 27 November 2014


I'm starting to wonder if it's me. If the issues with my personality are the thing's that are about as easy to love as hugging a star fruit is. Perhaps I'm jinxed and I'm plagued by some curse or other that keeps the men I want out of my life and the one's I don't in it. That or my dazzlingly dull personality is to blame. Either way I'm lonely and already possess the quota of cats that one needs to be classified as a spinster cat lady. I only have them anbd my fabulous shoe collection for company. 
Will write more if anything non-doom and gloomy happens. 
Signed yours faithfully 
Spinster cat lady with the prettiest shoes.

Wednesday, 26 November 2014

Ex's are ex's for a reason.

I have had a fucker of a year. For those of you that don't know, I left my job due to my anxiety disorder bought on by stress. I had two admissions into a mental health hospital and on top of all of that my dad passed away.

When I did come out of hospital after burying my father needless to say I was feeling very vulnerable and thanking fuck for my meds leveling me out. Everything in my world felt shaky. So I did positive thing's like sign up to the agency for more work. I needed to grab onto something positive and figured work was it.

I also got back in touch with Popeye. I thought if anyone could care about me it would be him. I call him Popeye because if he was real he would look like him, all square jawed, stubbly and shaven headed, he is also a sailor in the merchant navy.
When we spoke on the phone he was sweet and  told me how much he cared about me and how much he wanted to look after me and that I should go to Kent so he could take care of me. Despite my protestations that I was a mess.

He also said he had messaged me on WhatsApp back in April but worried that something bad had happened to me as I hadn't got it. He also said he had looked for me on various sites online to no avail. I did get cold feet about his impending visit. I worried that we had nothing in common aside from kinks but he helped me dispel such worries and pointed out the amount of time we spent on the phone talking about non-kink related subjects and my fears were successfully alayed.

The week at work wizzed passed and it was Monday, I had scrubbed the house clean, been to town and bought food and some sexy undies and a box of Yorkshire tea for him. Every time he flashed up on my phone my stomach went all fluttery. When I saw him again my pulse started careening around my body and when he held me I felt my body instinctively melt into him, I remembered how we fit perfectly together and I found my mouth seeking out his and became entangled in his full lips. I crashed around the kitchen and made him a cup of tea once upstairs in my room and the kittens had been fused and cooed over I kissed him again revelling in the decent emanating from his warm skin I placed his hand over my heart and told him to feel how fast it was going, he did and teased me, then we were fucking, hot greedy 'I missed you' sex.

Popeye my be just the bastard that broke my heart for the millionth time right now but at that time I couldn't get enough of him. He has always had thge ability to make me drunk off of him, leave me aching and craving more. And he spanks my ass exactly how I like it. The ensuing two days were a blur of orgasms and great sex and of course loads of kinky games. My favourite being when he pulled my pants down in the kitchen and spanked me. He seemed different to the old Popeye. Capable of patience which in case you don't know you need an abundance of with someone with a mental health problem like me is concerned. We went to town, drank flavored coffee, he drove me to my dads grave on top of the mountain, he held me whilst I cried. We ate Chinese and watched TV, clinging on to each other and fucking when the urges took us six times by the way in case you were wondering not to mention the countless times we got each other off with our hands. When went to the pub when he got home he rang and said he had cried on the way home. I felt blessed out and over joyed that someone as special as him wanted me. 

Of course it was short lived and yesterday went to hell in a hand basket. I'm too sad to write about how twat like he was to me and how equally as twat like I was back. He was just using me though that has been established by the amount of guff he spouted about how I was better off without him, how he doesn't do relationships, how he can't handle me needing him (er whoa when did I say I needed him exactly...I'm quite capable of relying on myself) I will point out readers that he claims to need to be needed. And 'why can't I just be rational' ERM that might have something to do with the whole mental illness thing I told him about and explained...repeatedly. Member I mentioned that I needed someone patient. He wanted the lime light of appearing in my blog so ta dah here it is. I once again look like a mug.

Fear not though readers I did swap digits with a sweet and handsome man at work...who knows maybe something can blossom from the wreckage that is my heart. Only time will tell.

Saturday, 31 May 2014

Are you lonesome tonight. No Elvis I'm just horny.

I have had an epiphany.  Plain sailing relationships just aren't my cup of coffee. I need the kind of passion and the heat that is only ever found in creative types or you know people that I have nothing but blind hatred for, Suffice to say King Tart being a prime example of the latter. That's the kind of sex I want, the kind that makes my bedroom look like it gone done in by Miley and her wrecking ball.

But I also want the other stuff too, the staying up until stupid:AM talking about the stuff makes us tick etc the thing's that help pave the way to it becoming more than sweat soaked sheets. Yes that sounds like a massive contradiction compared to my posts a couple of years ago, I mean who knew I could actually be wrong. This crow is delicious.

As much as my recent ex and I were similar e.g shit at relationships on account of the commitmentphobia and being so emotionally retarded we found ways of making it work. We were poles apart when it came to the everyday stuff and so help me to fuckery I felt like giving him a thwack to well thwack the glazedness out of his eyes for his inability to feign even the slightest bit if interest in what I do for a living, it is important to me and if I can tolerate football on my tv and endure an entire game it's the least he could've done. I didn't decide to write to have a bitch about my ex, I broke up with him and it was very amicable and I know that because of that very sentence I did the right thing...there was no passion and despite sharing a host of kinks the spark just fizzled out because of how incompatible we were in other area's. Ok, I'll admit it, I'm a little sad because he was the only person that has ever liked me for the reason people usually detest me, which of course is my outspokeness, the way I always say how I feel or think and my distinct inability to sugar coat shit. But unfortunately it wasn't meant to be.

I have no doubts he will find someone. But I'm beginning to doubt the same will happen for me as I'm so difficult to like, so awkward and strange, the only analogy I can come up with is imagine trying to give a human sized star fruit a hug. I refuse to wear a lable but if I had to I'm pretty sure it would say bi-polar oh and queen of the blow jobs obviously.

I need passion back in my life. I have a riding crop on it's way to me but no one to use it with. So the question is where do I go to get it, my day's of working the club and going home with marines are over with, and Fetlife is out on account of my being all 'Embrace your kink check out Fetlife' to people I work with and the last thing I need them to know about is all of my weirdo kinks, it's bad enough they know about my penchant for fucking guys in the ass with my "Black mamba" as it is now known haha, without them knowing everything else. Suggestions please and until then I guess I'm left with my devine fantasies largely involving Charles Esten (the scrumptious looker that plays Deacon Clayborne in my lastest tv addiction Nashville) doing some pretty inventive thing's with a ruler Secretary style. If I break a lamp whilst having sex or get to give a blow job in the foreseeable future don't worry y'all be the first I tell.

Thing's I'm hating right now
That I'm turning thirty in 3 months

Thing's that I'm loving right now
That the above entitles me to a mid-life crisis waaay!
My new Etnies
A football free existence
And last but not least Devious Maids and Nashville (trash tv but it's soooo good)

Yours, sexually frustrated
Kinky Cupcake XOX

Monday, 15 October 2012

Sexiest Bum.

Hey lovely people so how have you been? I know it's been awhile since I last wrote, about two months, in fact my last post was when some of you lovely lot had me shitting kittens and speed dialing Golden Delicious in panic that some of you knew who he was. Thankfully it was just someone of similar persuasions and perversions thus a different man altogether, apparently someone I know though...dark horse that one. So whilst on the subject of Golden Delicious I may as well get this bit over and done with. I have repeatedly said over the last year, that he's a habit I need to kick....5 weeks ago I quit smoking and two weeks ago I quit him. You see the thing that kept us hooked on each other, even to the point when we stopped even liking each other as people was down to our kinks, I told him mine every last one of them, from the ones I'm loud and proud about, to the one's I'm beyond embarrassed about and rarely tell people unless they mention them first, I think Valentine is the only other person that knows them all, total love that one didn't so much as bat an eye, that's friendship for you though hey :-). It is astonishing the levels we are willing to stoop too to indulge in our kink (because some people wouldn't get it) e.g conveniently forget that we think the other is a mahoosive douche bag all in the name of getting our rocks off. To be honest I do miss the day's when I didn't think of him like that, when he was just some funny charming guy that I knew and the mere thought pf referring to him as arrogant or selfish wouldn't have crossed my mind let alone be sprawled out in a scathing text and I'm sure he thinks the same of me. Perhaps not the same epithets but the same emotion behind them, fuck I know I ain't perfect and I sure as shit have a hot temper. Isn't it sad that you can't change how people see you, you know like how they did in the beginning before all that shit happened. So the book on him is finally closed and yes it makes me sad for the reasons I've just said...we don't even talk under the pretense of friendship anymore(finds it difficult to be friends with ladies) But onto something super awesome....I have completed my therapy. Yey!!!! I know its fast but my therapist thinks I've made excellent progress. I'm not 100% yet but I'm getting there...I'm going to start volunteering somewhere for a month or so...then ooosh a couple of months and I'll be back in Exeter which is my long term goal, there's lot's of small and medium ones to achieve the volunteering. I've even taken the bus, and managed Exeter on a busy Sunday afternoon yey go me!!! A quick update on my book, when I began laying the groundwork for it I thought it would be a good distraction, however, given the place I was at emotionally it wasn't conducive to moving forward and getting better, because I was having to go over times in my life where everything was peachy, so until I'm 100% better and back to normal I've put the project on hold. The last two weeks I have come on leaps and bounds, I've been to the beach a few times, enjoyed meandering for awhile by myself with the dog, baked some tasty cupcakes, survived doing my shopping in Asda for half an hour, and got back into doing my nails(some of you may have seen some of cool designs I've been painting on my nails) and most importantly...socializing with friends both here and in Exeter plus I even managed to go into Office and not panic or buy shoes...both are a massive's nice being able to do the things I used to do without a second thought, soon it'll be as easy as it used to be. So on to the man goss. Other than I spot of sexting with Golden Delicious a few weeks ago, it's all been pretty quiet and I've just been getting frisky(haha every time the Tinie Tempah songs pop in to my head) with and wearing out my is soooo annoying when you have to make a mad dash to the toy drawer when the charge of your beloved bullet vibe runs out mid orgasm. Thankfully though my rox-off bullet just about managed to get me to O a few times...just. But wanking aside. I do have a man interest. I'll call him The Sexiest Bum in Exeter, Sexiest bum for short, simply because when I added him on Facebook he was/is naked in his profile picture, I shit thee not ladies and gents I could not stop, you all know I am a bum girl...i have seen my fair share of delectable, biteable, kissable and sometimes fuckable asses. But Sexiest Bum is well corr, clichéd metaphor I know but it is peeeeeachy and just well all of the above(not the fuckable I don't think that's his thaang) It's like a pervy, porno postcard in my inbox when ever he messages me :D So how did we meet, well you all know I'm pro dating sites, you're not going to find someone datable on a night out on the lash. Slurry words, sloppy kissing and a stumbling grope on the dance floor do not a successful match make. A quick shag on the other hand sure. So as I was trawling through Plenty of Fish I came across some I recognized, I had a bit of a nose and liked what a read, but thought I'd only message him if he checked out my profile in return....and he did. Basically I used to see Sexiest bum walking past my work and would go and harass him into going into,Eden or Ex4 he never did so in the end I just used the premise of work as an excuse to go and talk to him. He's so hot, all gorgeous eyes, angular jaw, nice lips, cool ink, great taste in footwear, cons, black and white, classic cool, stands out in a crowd. He has the whole cute shy guy thing going on which I like...i did think I used to terrify him a bit because well you know I'm a bit like a brunette adult addition of Polly Pocket..on caffeine and Prozac and four packets of skittles..short loud bubbly. Thankfully I didn't terrify him he was just shy. Awwww. We chatted a fair bit on PoF and not gist the usual getting to know you stuff either of course that's important but I like finding out the random stuff about people, it's a good way to learn what makes a person tick. Like me asking him if he had a time machine and could hang out with 3 people from history, music, movies etc and go to any decade who would he pick and what would he ask them. I thought his choices were interesting. We also swapped the most embarrassing thing we ever did stories, his had me creasing, then because I thought my "I had a boob on collision with a telegraph pole" looked tame in comparison I thought to make it fair I'd spill a big secret...which then had him creasing. We've been chatting since. We have so much in common and as you lovely lot well know it's rare for me to have am interest in a guy for reasons other than the contents of his pants (unless of course they are male mates to which the latter does not apply) And last night we spent two hours watching American dad and family doing running commentary and quoting various lines that had us laughing. American dad epic "We have to get rid of the doll" but my personal fave "You couldn't open a french whores legs with a wheel of cheese" I love Roger hahaha. And yes dear readers your eyes do not beseech you, I did just write about a convo of the none sex variety with a sexy man. Don't get me wrong I've thought about doing some very rude naked stuff and I have told him as much. In fact he said four words to me the other day that nearly made me weep..." I don't like blowjobs" gutted...seriously it's one of the things I do's what I enjoy doing the most(after sex of course) if ever there was a poster woman for the orally fixated I am her! However after chatting about it yesterday I think the poor love has never had it done properly, a woman can be armed with the technique but unless she's really into it that blow job for want of a better word is going to suck. Blow jobs aside I can't wait to meet him in Newport in two weeks, all being well,you know providing we don't rum out of things to talk about, I know I'm catastrophizing and I shouldn't but now I'm thinking, what of we don't get along on person and only do so via message although to be fake it is far communicate via message than in person. And what if.we think the other is a bad kisser there is nothing worse than a lousy kiss it is a massive turn off, like I remember good kisses much the same way I remember good fucks. King Tart excellent in the sack not brilliant in the kissing department...too wet. Golden Delicious was a,brilliant kisser, soft yet firm enough to make my lips tingle, moist not wet and the perfect amount of tongue...just the tip. Ahhhh I love kissing. And I'm going to leave it there because Sexiest Bum is online and I'd like to chat to him because well he's lovely. Things I'm loving right now Leddra Chapman's music...check out Sexy Dizzy and Shiver on YouTube. How she's not a superstar yet I don't know her lyrics are beautiful. That I've done my therapy. That I went to Exeter a week ago to see some awesome, amazingly lovely people that I miss a lot and yes Caffé Nero I mean you too awww That there's a very sexy man that out there that I want to be holding hands with...yeah I said it...mushy Cupcake My best friends Miss Banana...i miss you <3

Monday, 6 August 2012

Caramelatte, Clamps and Clit

Hey lovely people, so how has your month been? Mine has been OK I guess. Very boring if I'm honest aside from baking occasionally, devouring books by the shelf full and wanking so much my toys are on the verge of protesting...seriously there's not much to do around here. However tomorrow I finally start my therapy for my anxiety disorder. I'm happy that its finally here, albeit shitting myself because I'm scared that it won't work. I just need to keep a positive attitude about it, I read somewhere that if you keep positive and envisage yourself being who or where you want to be(e.g a new job, or on the end of that hot guys cock etc) that you are more likely to achieve it than if you have a negative attitude. Plus I'm so frustrated at not being able to do normal things like catch a train, go in to town with my besties for a coffee its been three months since I've wrapped my mouth around the caffeiney goodness of a Caramelatte and that folks is a long time for a Nero addict who is on first name terms with the baristas in Exeter. I really miss working though and can't wait to start again! I do have one last tidbit to tell you about before I get to the man goss. A family friend is getting married and asked me to do he wedding cupcakes! Which in my opinion is a pretty big deal.So in order to not completely bollocks them up I've spent the last two weeks or so designing, practicing and perfecting my techniques...getting the icing the perfect consistency to pipe though is a total biatch however I've worked it out now and fingers crossed they should look awesome. OK before I spill the juice on the guy that's been getting my knickers all juicy, I would just like to point out that just because I don't write about it doesn't mean I'm not getting up to black book is like an a-z. So from the post before my Fifty Shades of Grey review, I clearly say that Golden Delicious is a habit I need to kick and for the most part I was sticking to it with the exception of a platonic text I'd sent him a question that none of my friends would know the answer too. It was brief but we were civil and that was that then a week ago I wasn't lounging around and checking my Facebook when he messaged me. The second I saw his message in my inbox my pulse started swooshing around like it normally does when he's involved. A few minutes later he was asking me what I would've done if we'd hooked up again. The second I read it my eyebrow shot halfway up my forehead and my lips bunched up so tight they probably looked like a cats arse and I had to refrain from typing the text of equivalent of a snort of derision if my ass I was the one who wanted to hook-up again remember, you know, I sent that lovely picture of my naked-but-still-bruised-from-that-spanking-you-gave-me ass, telling you to come and put your cock in me. But still I refrained and decided to let it go. And told him that I'd have done everything we didn't get chance to do that night...there's only so much kink you can fit into a few hours. No jokes aside from a couple of hours baking I was in a constant state of hornyness, and attached to my phone and various sex toys all day and night, and had to change my pants twice because they were that wet, all from his dirty texts, him sending me a picture of his big fat cock and yes ladies and gents he has a very fat cock, me then telling him where I wanted it, our brief discussion about shibari....moments later I was busy tying my boobs up with pink string and taking a photo for him, then him saying he wanted to rub stinging nettles over my boobs and pussy got me even more slick, I don't think I could handle it on my pussy, my boobs yes but only if he was the one doing it because his cock in either my mouth or pussy is likely take my mind off the pain if it was too much and if I did it to myself all I'd have to hand would be my dildo and I highly doubt sucking that would have much of an effect lol. Towards the end of the night I did another video. And I mentioned that I'd really like clamps on my pussy....again moments later I was rifling through my box then taking a pic I wish he'd been the one to put them on me. We also spoke about wax play, it's something I really want to try. The next morning after breakfast I was thinking about our conversation from the day before and as I was in the throws of orgasm I called his name (no one else was in thank frick lol) not his actual name the name he'd confessed to like being was hot! A few days later I decided to tell him about a kink that I hadn't told him about. He's open about his and whilst he has two that are a bit extreme for me I don't judge, it's his thing right. I never thought I'd tell him, in part due to pride as it's not a kink I'm loud and proud about, truth be told I'm utterly ashamed and embarrassed of it, but also due to a fear of being rejected by him because of it(it's happened before when I've told people and well ouch) the amount of times over the last year I've come so close to blurting it out over text and just about managed to refrain due to the fear of the above. So being that I'm now in Wales and no longer run the risk of bumping into him and trying to meet his gaze whilst blushing with awkwardness and shame I thought fuck it. Admittedly my stomach was in knots and I nearly wussed out of telling him because of said embarrassment but with a bit of prompting from him to spill I just blurted out. I was flooded with relief when I read his response "So whats wrong with that" I know it sounds dumb but I could've cried because it's so not normally the response I get and well pfftt hormones and all that. However during the week I text him twice and I didn't hear back from him so I started to worry that maybe initially he'd misread the text you know skimmed over the first part then reread it later only to be like freeeaak. Turns out I was just stressing over nothing because he's cool with it. I need to leave well alone though now, because we keep doing this and I'll always want more from him but I'll never be enough for him and I don't mean that in the lame 0% self esteem kind of way but in the respect of different strokes for different folks. Maybe I want a guy who likes all of me and not just fragments and yes ladies and gents you did just read that right for the first time in three years I actually want more from a guy than he wants from me although that's been obvious from when he first appeared in my blog although I did think if I had him for the night that'd be enough and that the thing that usually happens after I hook up with a guy would happen, you know I don't want them anymore, but I guess my pussy turned into a greedy Golden Delicious wanting slut. And on that note I'll leave it there. Stay kinky Kinky Cupcake XOXO

Friday, 6 July 2012

Fifty Shades of Grey review

Hey lovely people so how's your week been? So I wrote my review of 50 Shades of Grey. And sent it off to the rumpus unfortunately my submission was declined so I'm posting it here as promised for you lovely ladies and gents to read. A review by a real female submissive I am about to utter the four words that are causing a stir amongst us ladies worldwide; '50 Shades of Grey' also seen popping up in status's across Facebook and the like as 'The book', it is the reason we're all getting our panties in a bunch and why we're trying to find 5 minutes of peace and quiet. Admittedly I'm not one for jumping on the media hype band wagon, I'm usually the type to wait for the hype to die down and then if I'm curious I'll check it out. But one whiff off BDSM and I'm there I can't help it I'm a slave to my clitoris. So despite my doubts about whether or not it would turn out to be a Story of O rip-off I downloaded a copy to my kindle and got stuck straight in. The leading lady Miss Anastasia Steele and trust me ladies and gents you'll get to know her surname too on account of it being said a lot throughout, is on the cusp of graduating college(uni for us Brits) She is also a virgin, when she meets the enigmatic CEO Christian Grey. So far so cliché, right. Despite finding the story line wishy washy and the dialogue repetitive E.L James knows how to write a good sex scene to the point where I quickly devoured it and wanted more deeming 50 shades juice-inducingly delicious. As a spankster I found myself getting incredibly turned on when Mr Grey takes the inexperienced Ana across his knee for the first time. And don't get me started on the scene with the riding crop, oooh yes please I want some, although to be fair I would've preferred the belt whipping myself those of you who read my blog will know exactly what I'm referring too. However despite her extensive vocabulary which occasionally had me reaching for a dictionary, and her passion for the character's she created, it's not well written. I could pick holes in it all day but she's obviously doing something right as not only has the trilogy sold over 20million copies there is also a movie in the pipeline too. I think overall its very melodramatic too much drama. Ana referring to Grey's play room as "The red room of pain" and professing that she is not a submissive when she evidently is, I'm sorry E.L James but as a kinkster and someone who has been playing for nearly 12 years I have never met someone that likes to be spanked and tied up and claims they are not submissive. I also thought the belt whipping scene was melodramatic. Safe words are an integral part of safe, sane BDSM play for a reason, it prevents situations like Ana enduring 6 hard lashes from a belt, wanting to stop but not saying anything then promptly storming out crying afterwards. I think someone that is new to BDSM will probably have a negative view on it due to careless writing. My other beef with it is this Grey isn't just domineering in the bedroom but tells Ana when and what to eat he even buys her clothes so that when she is with him she'll be dressed to his approval, the latter is all well and good in the bedroom during a scene, but outside of it, I'd personally tell Grey to take a hike back to his cave. I say if you're a bit horny, the sex scenes make it worth a read. However if you are a fellow kinkster like me I'd recommend picking up a copy of My Girlfriend Comes to the City and Beats Me Up by Stephen Elliott or Kings Pawn by Ruth Fox two of my personal favorites. Kinky Cupcake XOXO

Thursday, 28 June 2012

Craving Golden Delicious

Hey lovely people how are you all. This is just a quick post really, I will be posting my 50 shades of Grey review at some point this week. But I'm ensconced in the folds of the follow up book. I don't know if it's because of the light BDSM elements or the fact that I'm horny, but I'm craving Golden Delicious sooo bad right now. And yes I hate myself for it because we are no longer speaking(technically nothing to do with with having seen each other naked) But regardless's 2am and I'm wanting him. I would do a lot to be able to slip into the memory of that night, to feel the heat in my scorching ass cheeks which were the same bright pink as my Paul's Boutique bag(Maisy and hate all you want lol I love it) the adrenaline whooshing through my veins to feel all of my nerve endings tingle with his touch. His kiss and and the scent of his skin as I kissed his neck,sweet mixed with his natural made me grind against his cock and want him in my mouth, his hands all over me but as is the way of kinky people me specifically....i wanted him to make me hurt too...hence my glowing ass and sore nips. That's what I want...a good solid spanking, be it sprawled over his lap or bent over his coffee table with my palms flat I need that release I need to feel that delicious heat emanating from my ass, a heat that's been put there by someone who makes my blood rush and the same person who knows how to make me hurt(ass and nips) so that I feel good. An orgasm would be good too right now. And having him grip my silky hair whilst he slides in and out of my mouth ummm and pull it when I disobey. I say craving him...because that's how I feel...addicted. And despite how pissed off I am with him right now, to the point my blood feels like its lava because of our falling out and believe it or not the fact that he couldn't look me in the eyes when we saw each other after our "kink fest" therefore making me feel like an unpaid hooker has nothing do with it although thinking about it now makes the red head in me flare up and want to bitch slap him with as much Celtic fury as I can muster, the word craving is appropriate because he's a habit I can't seem to quit(although I haven't messaged him for sometime and have no intention of doing so) See when you spend a year pretty much swapping dirty sext txts and pics etc and when you're getting frisky with the contents of your toy draw for some DIY and its them you think about can be a real bitch of a habit to quit. I don't just think its that either I think it has a lot to do with his being kinky, that he is my ideal Dom in the respect that I wanted to submit to him but enjoyed it when I disobeyed and he pulled my hair hard or roughly pinned my hands behind my back. Also I he didn't come out right and say it but that night I kind of got an inkling he might be a switch due to him wanting me to squeeze his cock(my knuckles were white) regardless of my inch long nails digging in and the fact that when I was licking his balls I had the urge to rim him bit didn't. dare...however he did direct me down there and didn't come out right say specifically where he wanted my tongue needless to say when I licked him there he enjoyed it(i forgot to write that in that post) I would've really enjoyed Domming him too. I am now awash with self loathing because despite my craving for him in that respect I seriously wouldn't go there again...because I don't trust him anymore. And because of the fall out etc he see's me as a commodity, a toy and its apparent that the friendship I thought was there wasn't, it was a thin string to keep me on so that when he was bored, lonely, horny and no one else was available he tugged on it and there I would be. And after out.last messages he thinks I'm a c**t admittedly he's wrong but whilst I'm here thinking he's an ass I know that where ever he is right now, he's not giving me a second thought as he's probably found a new "toy" to play with. Its taken me weeks to write my final post with him in it...i kept putting it off because honestly I'm hurt...i can't believe I let that mother fucker make me more its time to kick the habit. And on that note I'll leave it there. Stay kinky Kinky Cupcake XOXO

Wednesday, 30 May 2012

Rocking upto Wales with a swagger

Hey lovely people so how's your week been? So once again things have gone a bit tits up. As some of you know from my last post I was moving back to Wales...unfortunately it was not by choice, predominantly due to finances and my anxiety disorder rearing it's ugly head again, but I'm not going to lie the thought of never having to see Golden delicious again was actually a plus. I'm not going to give him a verbal bashing here as I've already said everything I needed too, I'm done with his selfish ass, ooh and if you are reading this you're a fake so shave your mo you're about as punk as My little pony. So Friday was my last night in Exeter(or so I thought at the time) and I spent the evening with Miss Banana eating dinner in the garden and chatting. After she left and we'd said our goodbyes, I went back outside to watch the sunset and the neighborhood bat taking its twilight flight, I do love balmy summer evenings...simple.pleasures and all that. Afterwards I did boring crap like all of my packing, come 1:30am I was lounging around on my bed in bra and pants, feeling lonely and despondent and trying not to cry over that knob head(golden delicious) when I decided that I didn't want to spend my last night moping around, so on the off chance I messaged an acquaintance of mine, who is no stranger to coming round to mine at silly o'clock in the morning. Admittedly it had happened only once before lol and it was well over a year ago and we just kissed but no harm in trying right. I'm going to call him Fucking Memorable simply because we fucked and my last night in Exeter was very memorable in a good way. OK ladies and gents, he is smoking hot, aesthetically he's the kind of guy your mother probably would've warned you about, you know heavily tattooed, nose piercing. However personality wise he is a gent and has nice manners which as you know I am a stickler for, although where mine went when I said "so are you going to kiss me or what" is beyond me but I'll get to that in a second. So yes he's tall, tattooed(heavily so) has gorgeous blue eyes, full lips and the kind of hands that...sorry folks I zoned out for a second there thinking about him in nothing but an oil streaked beater, and touching me all over with those sexy oil stained man hands of his. Phhhhew cold shower for cupcake please. Our hook up didn't start out brilliantly, as I'd locked myself out of my suitcase (which he found funny and it was you should've seen me straddling the thing trying to prize it open lol) and all of my sexy knickers were packed inside it. Then when he arrived I had to streak downstairs to let him in in nothing but my bra and granny huh, before leaving him standing in my pitch black hallway whilst I ran up the stairs to chuck on the only thing that wasn't being held hostage by my sodding suitcase and attempting to make myself look less "wanton hussy" and erm a bit more lady like haha, you know given that I wasn't certain that we were going to get naked(i knew I was up for it but call me naive I wasn't sure was) So coffee in our hands we went and sat in the garden and yes I know it sounds awfully romantic but that's sooo not why I suggested it, it's simply because it was still warm out and I love star gazing hence the two constellations I have tattooed on my arm. We slipped into easy conversation, I remember telling him why I was leaving, I also remember saying that maybe I needed a new city, you know a change, I meant it at the time but I think I really meant more so than anything was that I needed to change and get my act together, because I actually really love Exeter and felt like I belonged there. Anyway when it got cold we went up to my room and after jokingly chastising him for pikeying my only pillow(than you Miss Banana for introducing that awful word to my vocabulary) I laid down next to him and tested the water by rubbing my leg up against his, then he propped up and looked down at me, all I could think was kiss me...then my manners went out of the window and j said "are you going to kiss me or what" and then he He is an excellent kisser, passionate yet gentle and just the right amount of tongue none of that sloppy wet malarkey. I remember I was quite bossy/Dom as in get naked, more naked and squeezing his nips and biting them. Needless to say I wasn't so Dom when it came to getting it on he knew exactly what to do. It was hot as hell, I liked sucking his cock and having his fingers all tangled up in my hair, I liked the noises he made sexy and the way his skin tasted when I kissed his chest and licked his nips, and I definitely liked it when he made me come and then did so shortly afterwards himself...such a gent ladies first and all that. Which ever position we did it in it felt fanfuckingtastic(my legs on his winner g-spot all the way to orgasmville) afterwards I smoked a post sex cigarette, cliché I know. Exhausted I flopped back down onto the bed and he followed suit, resting his head on my arm and kissing me, I dropped my free arm over his and lazily stroked his, reveling in post orgasm rush. It's been a real long time since I've done that, hugging after sex I mean but I thought fuck it I'd never see him again as I was wales bound the next day and he felt good. I did suggest a shower because my hair was a sweaty mess and I highly suspected that I smelled like a rugby players jock strap, in response to my suggestion he kissed me and asked if I could manage round two, honestly I really didn't think I could...the mattress wasn't the only thing ruined lol, but I was horny, flipping Nora he's got stamina. I sat on his cock(condoms were used of course, you know my rule folks) and rode him, then he picked me and fucked me.standing up my legs wrapped around his waist riding him and then back down on the bed, fucking me doggy and pulling my hair and slapping my ass, god that was hot I was dripping. Orgasms are great aren't they. We went to bed after that, although I kept having to get up for lol due to all the water I drunk soz I'm a pain in the ass to share a bed with lol. I don't know what time it was, but I remember being half asleep and curling into him the next morning and him kissing me, it is a nice way to be woken up, then he left and I promptly passed out for a few more hours. I was walking like John Wayne for two days after lol and I most definitely rocked up into Wales with a swagger. I was supposed to be heading back there then but got picked up on Sunday instead and spent Saturday evening with Miss Banana spilling about the night before and eating chocolate cake. Now I'm in wales and well I'm miserable as all of my.close friends have moved on and now not only am miserable, I'm also bored, lonely and jobless and if it wasn't for my two besties a text or Skype away I'd have cracked you both so much! And on that note lovely ladies and gents I shall leave it there...on a relatively high note...don't think I'll be posting again for awhile. /> Stay kinky Kinky Cupcake XOXO